Someone asked me recently if my kids ever just wake up cranky.
And I wanted to say, “Oh my good-golly-gosh-are-you-kidding-sister YES.”
I wake up cranky. Sometimes all of us wake up cranky. Or tired. Or out of sorts for one reason or another.
It happened on our first day of school this year. Thank goodness for doughnuts, new notebooks and fresh pens. (Are there any things better than doughnuts, new notebooks and pens?)
Since our first day of school this year, there have been other hard morning too.
So what do I do when that happens?
In a word, I filibuster.
That’s right. I start reading, and I just keep going.
Because on those kinds of mornings, I have to tell you, it takes everything in me not to just let things slide; to say, “OK,” and go tackle the closet that has all the things falling out of it. Or curl up with a book and tea and forget to put real pants on at all.
If I don’t stay strong — if I don’t do SOMETHING — we’ll miss a day of school.
So when to filibuster?
Not when someone is actually sick.
Not even when a real issue needs to be addressed, like a crummy attitude or a big worry.
But I can usually tell as soon as I spot my kids if we simply need to have a Slow Morning.
Their long hair is matted against their cheeks.
Their feet seem to weigh 80 pounds each.
And then they’ll tell me, of course:
“I just don’t feel good, Moooooom.”
(The length of the “mom” is a good indicator of how slow we need to go.)
“Just don’t feel good,” is not serious. It usually means that their room was dry last night, and they need some tea. Or they slept poorly. Or they slept well, but only after reading a really good book past midnight.
Or maybe they aren’t super excited about sitting around the table with mom, “doing school.”
All of those things fall under the umbrella of “just don’t feel good” in our home.
{Soul Fever Days and Full Stop Days are different.}
But “just don’t feel good” calls for a careful prescription, which I’ve come to think of as Slow Mornings.
This is what we do:
I make a big breakfast.
I love breakfast. I am GOOD at breakfast. (Don’t worry, I’m terrible at lunch).
I make pancakes or crepes or waffles. Waffles cure a lot of things. I make biscuits or eggs, or I short-order cook — poached eggs and oatmeal with apples but no walnuts. I chop kiwi and peel mangoes.
I can breakfast the heck out of breakfast.
And then we chat.
And I ask a very important question: What DO you want to do today? Because usually the answer is not “go back to bed because I am so horribly ill.” It’s something like go to the park, or see friends, or go to the library to get some new books or yesterday, start a new comic strip.
And I take that in, because that information is important.
And then, I grab a book.
Usually it’s our read-aloud or a book of poetry or this book, which has been a very faithful companion.
And that’s when the filibuster begins.
This is sort of an Ambush Morning Time in our House. {I’m not going to lie.}
But it’s been sort of magical.
During our Morning Time, I always let the kids draw, or play with play dough or perler beads or Legos or knit. They can do whatever they want with their hands.
And usually, because their tummies are full, and they are busy, once we get started I can just keep going.
{Starting is always the hardest part.}
I will gradually slide into Bedtime Math and Life of Fred. We’ll read some poetry. We’ll do a science mystery.
And before you know it, we’ll have done at least 30 minutes of school. But often a lot more.
And then, we’ll take a break.
And we’ll talk about what they said they wanted to do. Sometimes we can make it happen.
My son wants to spend a quiet afternoon working on a new comic strip? Perfect! That’s handwriting, spelling, art, fine motor skill work and creative writing.
My daughter wants to curl up and watch documentaries about big cats and knit? I’d say that’s a good way for a future veterinarian to spend a few hours, wouldn’t you?
“Let’s finish our work for today, and then we can do X-Y-or-Z,” I’ll say.
But wait. Sometimes, we “skip” school.
Sometimes, I find, cranky mornings are a plea for variety. What we really need to do is get the heck out of the house and do something interesting. We need to check out the bird exhibit at the conservatory, or hit the apple orchard. So, we pop in a good audiobook and we go.
Or my son will read to us while we drive. It’s a new thing and I love it.
Whatever we do, I try really hard not to turn it into a battle.
I don’t want my kids to remember battles.
And I try really hard to keep it intentional. To not let us fall into a trap of doing nothing at all, just because the getting going part seems so hard.
So YES. We all have cranky days. Mamas have cranky days.
Having a plan to turn them around helps a lot.
But so does just acknowledging the cranky, and remembering that tomorrow will probably be a better day, especially if we take it easy today.
So what do YOU do on cranky days?
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I’m learning so so much from this. And actually I was just thinking before I read this that I need to reach out and intentionally take breakfast by the horns. I’m terrible at breakfast (and starts). Making it, eating it, acknowledging it needs to happen – but my little people thrive on it! And it isn’t a “morning person” thing, I’m an early riser. I want to be flexible yet predictable.
Hm…you got my wheels turning. Big thanks.
I’m learning so so much from this. And actually I was just thinking before I read this that I need to reach out and intentionally take breakfast by the horns. I’m terrible at breakfast (and starts). Making it, eating it, acknowledging it needs to happen – but my little people thrive on it! And it isn’t a “morning person” thing, I’m an early riser. I want to be flexible yet predictable.
Hm…you got my wheels turning. Big thanks.
I love this, Kara! Thank you! Slow mornings are our jam, and I love how intentional you are about the “I just don’t feel good” days. It’s easy for me to get caught up in my household to-do’s and lose sight of being intentional with my munchkins on days like that. Thank you for the inspiration to create a better rhythm on cranky days! You really are the best 🙂 xoxo
I love this, Kara! Thank you! Slow mornings are our jam, and I love how intentional you are about the “I just don’t feel good” days. It’s easy for me to get caught up in my household to-do’s and lose sight of being intentional with my munchkins on days like that. Thank you for the inspiration to create a better rhythm on cranky days! You really are the best 🙂 xoxo
What a lovely day. You are right. When a day starts off rough, getting started is the hardest thing.
Blessings, Dawn
What a lovely day. You are right. When a day starts off rough, getting started is the hardest thing.
Blessings, Dawn
Thank you! I’m new to homeschooling and thank goodness my son is only in the pre-k/k range and I have a lot of wiggle room but I’m discovering how hard it is for me to get going in the morning. My mind is trained to consider first all the household things that need doing and the lessons still feel like I’m birthing an elephant. It’s all in my head because time and again, once we get going, it’s easy and takes on its own momentum. This routine of “if you feel like ___, do x, if you feel like ___, do b” will help me get over that initial hump.
Thank you! I’m new to homeschooling and thank goodness my son is only in the pre-k/k range and I have a lot of wiggle room but I’m discovering how hard it is for me to get going in the morning. My mind is trained to consider first all the household things that need doing and the lessons still feel like I’m birthing an elephant. It’s all in my head because time and again, once we get going, it’s easy and takes on its own momentum. This routine of “if you feel like ___, do x, if you feel like ___, do b” will help me get over that initial hump.
It is so good to hear what you do on slow mornings! I tend to try to push through with out regular schedule, but that never ends well. It ends with all of us grumpy, most likely because of my own attitude! I love that you broke this down into practical steps. I will definitely be trying this in the near future!
It is so good to hear what you do on slow mornings! I tend to try to push through with out regular schedule, but that never ends well. It ends with all of us grumpy, most likely because of my own attitude! I love that you broke this down into practical steps. I will definitely be trying this in the near future!
I LOVE this! It makes me want to have a cranky morning just so I can come over for some breakfast and reading. 😉 But really, what a great way to turn a bad start into a simply beautiful day. Thanks for sharing your wisdom!
I LOVE this! It makes me want to have a cranky morning just so I can come over for some breakfast and reading. 😉 But really, what a great way to turn a bad start into a simply beautiful day. Thanks for sharing your wisdom!
Ha! I love that. That sounds like a fun brunch party to me! <3
Ha! I love that. That sounds like a fun brunch party to me! <3
Great advice! Sometimes we all need a break from routine, and you’re right, it doesn’t mean that we can’t get anything done, maybe just less, and that’s okay.
Great advice! Sometimes we all need a break from routine, and you’re right, it doesn’t mean that we can’t get anything done, maybe just less, and that’s okay.
Interesting post, I admire you and wish sometimes I had the patience and drive to home school mine but the school they go to is amazing and no way could I provide what they do.
Interesting post, I admire you and wish sometimes I had the patience and drive to home school mine but the school they go to is amazing and no way could I provide what they do.
Always love reading your posts, I have been homeschooling a looong time, I have grown up kids and I started again 8 yrs ago when my daughter was born after a 12 yr gap 🙂 I always learn something new (who knew what FIlibuster was lol). Thanks! (off to make whatever she wants for breakfast, then some reading and “zine” making….learnt what they are yesterday lol!
Always love reading your posts, I have been homeschooling a looong time, I have grown up kids and I started again 8 yrs ago when my daughter was born after a 12 yr gap 🙂 I always learn something new (who knew what FIlibuster was lol). Thanks! (off to make whatever she wants for breakfast, then some reading and “zine” making….learnt what they are yesterday lol!
Hi there!
This is sort of off topic but when you say “we did bedtime math and life of fred” do you mean all of your kids do this together? if so, how to you differentiate with different ages?
I really want to teach my 3 and 6 year old together with math and reading and writing but I find it really hard to do it together.
It would be great if you could tell me how you do it.
Thanks!
Yes – We did them together. Bedtime Math is GREAT for this. It has questions geared for different ages!