Kara S. Anderson

Homeschool connection, not perfection.

  • Blog
    • Mama Self-Care
    • Anxiety
  • Shop
  • Homeschooling
    • Favorite Homeschool Resources
    • Kara’s Book: More Than Enough
    • Homeschooling Blog Posts
    • The Homeschool Sisters Podcast
    • Shop
  • Kara’s Amazon Favorites
  • Policies and Disclosure
  •  

Risotto, spring and graduating a kid

by Kara S. Anderson 5 Comments

My friend Jes taught me to make risotto 17 years ago in her family’s little cabin in Wisconsin.

We had traveled there with our friend Tabitha and our 3 babies for a girls weekend (plus infant plus-ones), and Jes had planned dinner, but then needed to nurse her daughter – and so she gave me directions from the couch while The Rolling Stones played in the background.

Although I’m Italian, we never had risotto growing up.

I knew basically what it was, though, so as I stood at the little stove I fretted – the the rice soup in front of me wasn’t doing what it was supposed to do.

“Just keep stirring,” Jes commanded, and I did, and eventually something magical started to happen.

Later, I heard Alton Brown talk about trying risotto for the first time as a child. He was convinced it had to contain heavy cream.

Just rice couldn’t create the smooth texture of risotto, right?

He’s right.

Risotto is kind of a miracle.

But it’s a slow miracle.

***

 

Last week, when it snowed again, I became temporarily convinced that spring is just not going to happen this year. That maybe it will just snow until July, and then it will be so steamy and terrible, that we’ll all wish we could go back to flurries and 40s.

But as I head out on my daily walk, I see little signs here and there – a robin, a green sprout of something.

A confused daffodil.

Yesterday, a little girl in a cosmos-patterned dress and helmet, riding her bike.

We all know, somewhere deep inside, that eventually weather will change. It will get warmer, then cooler, then we’ll want snow for Christmas and not much after that (unless you are a ski person.)

***

 

If you want to cry, try ordering a graduation cap while Landslide plays in the background.

I didn’t do this on purpose, but these days when I think of something, I have to do it or write it down. Otherwise it becomes air + yet another nagging worry that I’m forgetting something.

I spend a lot of time lately worrying about how much I’m forgetting. So I take fish oil and do Wordle and tell myself again and again that this is a result of the last two years. I found immense comfort last week here.

But back to the cap – my oldest is graduating, and I’m listening to Landslide and I normally don’t do things like that to myself.

It’s best right now if I focus on tasks (order a cap, order a cake, print 18 years of photos) and not on the enormity of what’s happening – that my son is graduating, and then leaving for college.

It’s better to choose balloon colors and send invites than to consider that next year at this time, he’ll be in another city – that he’ll have a separate life and that maybe, if I am lucky, he’ll choose to keep me apprised of what is appropriate for a mom to hear.

***

 

I think most graduations feel big, but homeschool graduations have an extra layer of delicious Raspberry Relief tucked in between the spongy white cake layers of Thank God.

This was never a sure thing.

The older I get the more I realize how few guarantees there are in life, and a homeschool graduation was never promised.

Most of the time, I was sure I was failing in some giant way – not pushing math, not buckling down on Geography.

My biggest fault was always that I was too easy on my kids, and now I’m glad because they still seem to like me and somehow we’ve met all the goals anyway, enough for the first kid to graduate and get into the college he wanted to go to most.

But today I’m thinking of all the time I spent worried – it was making risotto for 15 years straight.

“I’m not a chef,” I told myself constantly. “Who told me I could do this?”

***

 

 

Last night I made risotto for dinner.

I know every step now. It’s autopilot. I zest my lemon and the little yellow curls land right in the cup I used to measure my rice.

That’s how it goes when you’ve done something for so long – you figure out all the short-cuts and ways to keep clean-up at a minimum.

Maybe in a few years, I’ll feel confident enough to tell you that’s what I did with homeschooling my kids – that my method wasn’t about my own grand failings, but instead about finding a way that worked for us – (shortcuts + minimizing emotional clean-up.)

But I’m not there yet.

***

I have realized that separate from homeschooling, our kids are like seasons – they are going to grow and change and in so many ways, we have so little control.

It’s better that way – I promise.

Letting your children grow into themselves is the way to go – this I know for sure.

(I know it’s tempting to control and push. You’ll want to make them cut their hair for the photo and force them to wear a little outfit you picked out, but if you do that, you’ll just find yourself years later looking back on manufactured memories.)

So why not let go now just a little, and have faith that they are becoming who they are meant to be and know that really, that has a lot less to do with you than you want …

***

 

And then with homeschooling, consider risotto.

You have to attend the pan pretty much the whole time. But it’s not as complicated as it seems.

You add some butter or oil and shallots.

You measure the rice and stir.

You carefully add stock and stir some more.

Salt and pepper.

(Lots of pepper.)

More stock.

Maybe asparagus or peas. (If you wanted mushrooms you should have put those in at the beginning, but it won’t be so bad if you add them a little late).

The more you make it, the more you’ll realize the exact moment to toss in some cheese …

I will tell you –

many, many times I have made mistakes in this process –

never once have I had to toss out a batch of risotto.

Because now I know the secret:

Just keep stirring.

This post contains affiliate links.

 

A simple guide to meal planning

by Kara S. Anderson Leave a Comment

It feels important to tell you that I did not set our to write a meal planning ebook.

Instead, I set out to save my own sanity.

It all goes like this:

I HATE meal planning. It is hands-down the worst part of my week.

For a long time, it took me about an hour and a half every Sunday, which feels extra cruel. Sundays are supposed to be days of rest, but instead, for me, they have long involved my least favorite task.

And so, I created a system because I just couldn’t do it anymore.

It was either this, or hire Alice from the Brady Bunch. And I can’t afford that, and also, I don’t think people do that anymore, do they?

Simple Meal Planning

When I say that meal planning would take me 1.5 hours once a week, I don’t want you to think that I am a fancy person, or that I am natural organized or that I even like cooking.

NONE of that is true.

I used to like cooking for about 3-4 years, before I was a person with 2 kids and living on mostly one income and in a bunch of mothering groups that told me that if I cared, I would never, ever give my children a McDonald’s ice cream cone.

It was a lot of pressure.

Hanger Help

No – I’m just a lady who likes to eat. Who needs to eat.

I mean, we all NEED to eat, but I am super sensitive to blood sugar swings, plus I’m a vegetarian, so if I don’t plan, things are likely to turn quite ugly quite quickly.

And so I have always meal planned, since my kids were little, which means I’ve been doing this for almost 18 years. Heaven help me.

But every week it felt like reinventing the wheel, until recently.

A Simple System

I decided that what I really needed was a simple meal planning system that I could rely on like a friend.

There would be no more pulling out 8 cookbooks every week, searching for ANYTHING we all eat.

Less Waste

Less waste was another requirement. I could not get all aspirational with my meal planning.

It seems lovely to think that we’re all going to eat more cruciferous vegetables, or that we’re going to suddenly all fall in love with whole grain pasta instead of the same, regular semolina pasta that FIXES THINGS.

The System

And so, I created a 4 step (and 1 step is optional!) meal planning system.

There’s a big of leg work upfront, but nothing worth it is won without a little sweat and swearing, right?

Just for YOU!

And then it occurred to me – wait – I bet I am not the only one who struggles with meal planning.

If I was going to go and make 17 printables (yup!) why not share them?

So here you are, friends …

Here is my newest ebook:

In this ebook, I share my simple system for making meals your family actually eats.

This 30-page ebook includes 17 printables, and will walk you through creating a list of meals your family loves, categorizing those recipes, using them for weekly planning and buying groceries that don’t rot in the crisper and mold on the counter.

Printables include:

  • favorite and easy meals lists
  • 2 meal category planning pages
  • 3 weekly meal plan page options in 3 styles – Sunday start, Monday start and blank
  • a meal prep plan sheet
  • a printable grocery list
  • a pantry inventory sheet
  • and a Recipes to Try Printable

Less Stress, More Food People EAT

My hope is that this ebook and planning system will be just what you need to take some of the stress out of meal planning and help you get meals your family loves on the table.

I know that it’s helping me, and I’ve made it very adaptable, because we all do things a little differently, but one thing we all have in common is that we need to eat and we all want the process to be as enjoyable as possible, right?

So head over now and check out my newest ebook, and if you like this kind of system, don’t miss this ebook’s BFF about cleaning.

This post contains affiliate links.

The golden morning routine that changed everything

by Kara S. Anderson 3 Comments

Part of me wanted to shout about this from the rooftops weeks ago. That’s how excited I was.

But, I wanted to wait to see if this new thing wasn’t just a temporary boost – a little oomph that would fade and I would end up back where I so often am, feeling disorganized, frustrated, and worn out.

Running around with no end goals or guideposts in place is exhausting, right?

How do we know if we’re even accomplishing ANYTHING?

And as moms, we need those success markers sometimes, I think. So much of what we’re doing is on desperate repeat – dishes, laundry, bedtime, repeat …

So much of our work takes time to show itself. Are we raising wonderful, creative, loving people, or will our beloved little ones grow up and turn into Catfish villains?

A solid morning routine

And so today, finally, I want to share with you the morning routine that has changed everything.

I’m trying to think if that’s hyperbole, and I really don’t think it is. Having a solid morning routine has helped me to feel more organized, more put-together, which makes me more confident.

It’s helped me feel stronger, calmer and it feels easier to deal with the constant disruptions (eruptions) that happen during a mom’s day.

So yes – I’m going with it.

This routine has been gold for me. Maybe it will be for you too?

Or maybe my routine will serve as a template for you to create your own golden routine.

In fact, I’m making a free printable to help you do just that.

>>Grab it here<<

Why routine?

I thrive with routine, but I am terrible at creating and implementing routines. Which means in order to a create a brand new, successful, sustainable morning routine, I started by cruising around Pinterest for about a week.

Honestly – it’s all an algorithm over there, so the minute you click on one routine post, 7,000 more auto-populate (along with ads for bras and Activia yogurt.)

This is when I started a little larceny.

When I saw a morning idea that sounded good, I stole it and put it on a list.

I did this for a while. It was a good list.

A BIG list.

Then I considered what I needed.

I needed – no, I wanted more intentional mornings.

Clearly, the entire list was not for me. If Essentialism has taught me anything, it’s that we have to be careful what we bring in.

It’s like our cars, right? They’re not very large. So we bring in 22 travel mugs and 15 books and 11 granola bars, plus things our kids need – whoops – and it’s all overwhelming.

Whatever we say yes to, it means we’re saying no to other things.

And I have other things that are important like work and homeschooling my kids and cooking meals and literally herding cats. I’m sure you have your things too.

So Rule No. 1 is to not create an insane, unattainable morning routine.

If you can’t get enough sleep, or if you are trying to fit in too much before your kids wake up, it’s going to take about 3 days for the whole routine to seem like too much and like maybe it was a bad idea in the first place, and on Day 4 maybe you’ll just sleep in until someone wakes you by handing you their diaper.

Routines and Seasons

Speaking of which I am no longer in the diaper days, but I remember them well, and back then, if some lady on the internet would have shared a routine like I’m about to share, I would have told her to eat a glass salad.

It’s important to keep in mind that life has seasons, and in some seasons you’ll be able to do more in certain areas, and in others you’ll need to do less in those areas and that’s just being human.

So another option is that you can break up your morning routine, and make it more of a daily routine.

I actually think this can be helpful for moms with small kids and moms doing a lot of hands-on homeschooling with their kids.

Some kids need A LOT. And this past year especially, we’ve all given a lot as parents.

So it might be handy to add in smaller routines throughout the day to help maintain your energy, your patience and your, um … sanity.

Maybe you exercise for 10-20 minutes in the morning, read a book after lunch, and hide in the tub before bed.

Whatever YOU need. However YOU can get it.

Different needs

Speaking of which, we all have different needs and different things that fill us up.

Take some time to consider what you need. Envision your perfect morning, then remember that you have a dog and three cats and two kids and the plumber is coming and someone has to make breakfast.

Still, I highly recommend doing what I did and taking a bit of time to brainstorm what could help you best.

They say that what you do in the morning sets the tone for the day, and sometimes I want to punch people who say things like that, but as much as it’s possible, it is nice to imagine a pleasant morning, and see what we can do to make that happen as regularly as possible.*

*Not all the time because 6 months ago someone made dentist appointments at 8:15. Ahem.

It’s starts with waking

Here’s the part where I tell you you need to stop using your phone as your alarm clock, but don’t worry, what I really mean is stop using your phone’s built-in, obnoxious-arse ringtones to wake up.

None of them are pleasant. Most are like some kind of MacGyver-era count-down until the nuclear reactor blows.

They’re startling, and that’s NOT a good way to wake up.

Instead, I have two options. The first is to download some pleasant ringtones or an album that is calming, and use the songs on the album as ringtones. My friend Carla recommended this album and it’s the best for ringtonification.

Another option is a peaceful alarm clock that wakes you up slowly and gently using light and/or friendly noise. My mom bought me this one for my birthday and I love it. It’s also a sleep machine, reading light and plays meditations and simple yoga routines.

I think my Hatch helps me get to sleep better too, and that sets me up for better mornings.

The first thing I do

The first thing I do when I wake up to my Nordic Sunrise and Tibetan Bells (really!) is think of 10 things I am grateful for.

I know that sounds like a lot, but it continues to get easier. And I often list some of the same things.

Don’t worry – it’s not a pop quiz, it’s just a really lovely way to start your day.

Research shows that gratitude helps release dopamine and serotonin, two feel-good hormones.

It also, “regulates the sympathetic nervous system that activates our anxiety responses, and at the psychological level, it conditions the brain to filter the negative ruminations and focus on the positive thoughts,” according to PositivePsychology.com.

And it takes less than a minute and you can literally do it with your eyes closed.

Next Steps

This is when my morning routine really kicks into gear.

I brush my teeth, <— (I have a toothbrush crush), put in my contacts and wash my face, then I spend 5 minutes tidying my bedroom, opening my windows or shades to let in light, and then light a candle.

I feed the cats and start tea, then bring my little teapot and a mug upstairs and meditate.

My favorite app for meditation is Insight Timer.

Next, I journal for three pages.

I like these simple notebooks because they are less expensive than a hardbound version (plus you get three in a set) and if I get really angsty, I can toss it in the fireplace when I’m done.

(I journal in bed, so I use a lap desk. These are also great for portable work and homeschooling.)

I got the three pages idea from this book, but you could do one page if you are short on time or skip this all together. I just feel like getting feelings out on paper is really cathartic for me.

After that, I take my medicine, vitamins and have breakfast. (Usually a smoothie – use this link for $25 off Daily Harvest.)

Always have a daily to-do list

Then I start on my daily to do list.

I don’t always get to everything on my to-do list, and I purposely keep my to-do lists small. But if I don’t have one at all, it’s a hot mess in a dress situation, so I make one every day.

For a long time I would do a to-do list on a Post-It note, but then I bought one of these notebooks and now I use the front “dashboard” with a dry erase marker.

Is it that easy?

Yes. That’s it.

My new morning routine

  • Wake up gently
  • Think of 10 things I’m grateful for
  • Brush teeth, contacts and wash face
  • Tidy room, let in light
  • Make tea
  • Meditate
  • Journal
  • Have breakfast
  • Take medication and vitamins
  • Create a to-do list

All of this – especially the gentle start and the to-do list, set me up to have a brighter, clearer, less stressful day.

I know that as my kids get going and I check email, things are going to get busy. But with a good start, it all feels more manageable.

How to use your phone to make your morning better

Speaking of which, you’ll notice I don’t check social media or email until after my morning routine.

This itself has helped so much.

I used to wake up and it was like a starter pistol had gone off. I was instantly overwhelmed by questions and to-dos.

Now I only use my phone for my meditation app, to check my calendar when making my to-do list, and listening to playlists.

What to do next

Wonder what to do next? Download the free printable here and start brainstorming:

Remember, it may take a bit of time to craft what works best for you.

But stay at it, before long, you’ll have better mornings that will lead to more peaceful days.

Big news! Kara’s book More Than Enough is now available in paperback:

This post contains affiliate links.

Creating a basic daily checklist (FREE printable)

by Kara S. Anderson Leave a Comment

Last week, I was feeling overwhelmed.

This is nothing new.

I am often overwhelmed.

But lately, I’ve been feeling particularly nervous. I have anxiety, and when it comes to fight/flight or freeze, I’m a popsicle.

Some days, just making a full daily plan is too much.

(Other times, it’s what saves me.)

Prioritizing self-care

My therapist has recommended focusing on self-care, but How? When?

So I decided to create a checklist.

The first version was like 62 things long.

I want to tell you – a daily checklist with too many things on it is pointless, especially when you’re anxious. We must practice some Essentialism here.

So I created a bare-bones, simple list.

And then I decided I’d share it, in case you feel overwhelmed right now too.

Something I want to point out – this list has stars on it. There’s a reason for that.

I want you to remember that you are already doing a lot. You’re already getting a lot right. If you got a star for each time you found the blue sippy cup, or smiled at your kids, or remembered to order something your family needs, you would be sparkling like the sun.

So please don’t put more pressure on yourself with this list.

But if you are going days at a time forgetting basics like drinking water and taking your vitamins, I hope this will help.

Here is my list for now:

Hanging On

A LOT of us are hanging on by a thread.

We are homeschooling and parenting. Many of us are caring for parents or other loved ones, dealing with mental health issues, trying to help kids navigate huge feelings and otherwise just trying to do our best.

My hope with this free printable is that it will give you structure and get things out of your head.

Grab your free printable here.

Kara

This post contains affiliate links.

 

Next Page »

Hey there!

I’m Kara – writer, tea drinker, yoga-doer and girl with the overdue books.

 

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • Twitter
  • YouTube

My Book

My Amazon Shop

Get $25 off your first order:

Get a free gift set from Grove Collaborative

Copyright

You are welcome to link to my blog (of course!), but please do not use my words or photos without my written consent, that includes reblogging. Copyright 2013-2017. Read this site’s policies and disclosures here.

Disclosure:

As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.

karastephensonanderson

kara s anderson
Hi. I’m totally fine, except tomorrow is my son Hi.

I’m totally fine, except tomorrow is my son’s graduation party and I’m not even close to fine, like … I find myself just sort of stuck here again, unable to do normal things like eat the salad I just made.

I was talking to my friend Jenn about this launching kids thing, and she said to be OK with both parts - to feel both parts.

The two parts are that yes, I am happy for my son and excited and this is true. This isn’t me trying to be happy. It’s real.

But also, I feel like I’m in a slow motion “emotional plane crash” - Jenn’s words.

She said I need to feel both, and *show* both - let both out - and that’s been the problem, I think.

I’m afraid to show the sad part. The scared part.

I’m afraid of those feelings being downplayed or dismissed by people who don’t get the complexity. 

I’m afraid of those things overshadowing the joy.

But then Jenn, without me saying any of that, saw it and got it and I realized maybe it would help to share all this, because maybe another mom will read this and feel seen and understood and know that she’s not alone in the beautiful, heartbreaking both of it all 🤍
I wanted to introduce you to my new pal, this Morn I wanted to introduce you to my new pal, this Morning Sidekick Journal.

A while back, I was talking to someone about needing a schedule, and she said, I think what you really need is to set your priorities each day 🤯

So I bought this journal I’ve been eyeing for a while that helps you create a consistent morning routine.

Then, the last step of my morning routine is to plan out my day in my bullet journal, and star the 3 most important things.

This little journal has already helped so much. I feel so much more focused and that helps me feel less anxious.

I highly, highly recommend this system, especially if like me, you like/ need accountability + have a hard time creating realistic routines and making them stick. 🌟

I’ll put a link in my bio for you! 

P.S. my erasable Frixion Color Stick pens pair perfectly with this. 🌟
I don’t really have anything to say except my fr I don’t really have anything to say except my friend Kym sent me these amazing Wonder Woman cuffs and I’m not taking them off.

I shall sleep in them.

They are so cool that my teens like them.

Also, some people see us.

Today we went to drop off a gift to one of my son’s college professor because she is special. She *gets* him. 

And fun fact: I was in one of her first classes when she started teaching.

Back then, she admits she tried to be tough, but it didn’t work. Caring was better.

Caring is better.

Let the people who care in and love them like crazy. 💙

Signed, 
My 5-year-old self who is still part of me and having the best day of her life.
Hey-o! It’s my birthday, and I always like to c Hey-o!

It’s my birthday, and I always like to celebrate by having a thing over at my site. 🧁💗🥳

➡️

The secret password is MAYSALE22

OK. Love you. Bye!
It turns out, getting into college isn’t actuall It turns out, getting into college isn’t actually the hard part.

I mean it is. Sure. There are visits and applications, and I guess like 18 years of helping your child turn into a college-ready person, but now that my oldest has been accepted to college, I’m learning that the hoop-jumping only increases as we get closer to August.

Part of me wants to go back to that day in February, the day before his 18th birthday, as we all stood around his phone at 4 p.m., waiting for the email telling us whether he got into his college of choice, and then the joyous relief.

It’s weird how memories work, because in truth, that day was mostly terrible.

I spent the morning crying in my office, certain that if he didn’t get into his top choice school that it was my fault; that I had somehow failed him through homeschooling.

***

And now I find myself here again, wanting to help, but not wanting to push – wanting so much to set him up for success as he prepares to leave home.

Wanting.

New post: karasanderson.com/launching 🤍
Getting into a walking routine with @vanessanwrigh Getting into a walking routine with @vanessanwright 💚

#karaandvanessawalk30 

LINKS:
Headbands: @thequirkydaisy 

Sweater @stitchfix ( Cotton Emporium)

Sarah (We LOVE Sarah naps! 💚) @rayzenenergy 

Walking app: @99walks 

Yoga with Adrienne: @adrienelouise 

Leslie Samsone: @walkathome

Ellen Barrett: @ellenbarrettfit 

Podcast: This Morning Walk
@alex @thismorningwalk @parkhere

Love you! Bye!! 💚💚💚
“Last night I made risotto for dinner. I know e “Last night I made risotto for dinner.

I know every step now. It’s autopilot. I zest my lemon and the little yellow curls land right in the cup I used to measure my rice.

That’s how it goes when you’ve done something for so long – you figure out all the short-cuts and ways to keep clean-up at a minimum.

Maybe in a few years, I’ll feel confident enough to tell you that’s what I did with homeschooling my kids – that my method wasn’t about my own grand failings, but instead about finding a way that worked for us – (shortcuts + minimizing emotional clean-up.)

But I’m not there yet.”

New post today about risotto, spring, and the bittersweetness of graduating a kid:

karasanderson.com/risotto 🤍
It’s my best pal’s birthday today. 🐈🤍 A It’s my best pal’s birthday today. 🐈🤍

Also - some of you saw his cameo in our @readaloudrevival event last night.

He was meowing at my office door and I was afraid everyone would hear it and so I let him sneak in.

But apparently Pablo snuck in too and startled George and George jumped at least 3.5 feet behind me. 😹😹

He completes me. 🤍🐈

I am so grateful every day that someone found him and took him to the shelter, and that out of all the kittens we met at the shelter, that he came home with us. 🤍🤍
My grandmother spent most of her life searching fo My grandmother spent most of her life searching for the perfect pocketbook.

I seem to have inherited this quirk - especially in my 20s, I was convinced the right purse would fix everything. 

But now, in addition to always looking for the perfect bag, my search has spread + I’m also always looking for the perfect planner.

Recently I tried something new, and for a little while it was novel and fun, but slowly, it started driving me to the brink of insanity. 

(I can’t be alone in this, right? It’s like a bad relationship - infatuation, then you settle in, and then you just need to get out before you commit a crime.)

Anyhoo, yesterday I took some time to get back on track with some organize-y things. I did a brain dump and decided to go back to planning in my bullet journal …

I’ve decided what I need to remember is that there is no one perfect system for planning, but having *something* in place cuts down on my feelings of overwhelm + anxiety tremendously. 🤍 

Also - stickers. 🤍
What if we started caring for ourselves more like What if we started caring for ourselves more like how we care for our kids? Can you imagine? 🤍
Load More...

Copyright © 2022 · Beautiful Pro Theme on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in