Over the weekend, I made a big announcement: I’ve decided to close my shop here at karasanderson.com.
I know the whole shop closing probably forever thing may have been a little unexpected.
And beyond closing my shop, I’m making some other big changes as well. I’m going to put my blog and social media on hiatus soon too.
(The plan right now is that my blog posts will remain available, but any free downloads on posts might not be available because I’m pausing my email service.)
As many of you know, my son started college in September. You don’t know that my daughter has grown up so much in the past couple of months – driving, getting her braces off, getting a job, plus she has big plans to start dual enrollment classes in January.
And so things here are changing drastically.
For a while, I was telling people life felt like that game Perfection. Do you remember? You had 60 seconds to get all the pieces into place or the game would “pop,” and you had to start over. (Dear Lord, they still make it.)
Sidenote: I feel like this game is at least partially responsible for the perfectionism and anxiety I have dealt with since I was 6.
But recently I was doing a speaking thing, and realized it’s not the game Perfection – it’s that scene from the third Indiana Jones movie:
Indy is rushing through a series of secret rituals in hopes of retrieving the holy grail, a cup that can be filled with water. One drink grants eternal life, and in this case, the grail will also save Indy’s father, who has been shot.
Indy has to make a literal leap of faith, and when he does, the path appears.
And so THAT is really more what it’s like, friends. I don’t have to put all the pieces in place. I just need to have faith and take the next step.
I will tell you since beginning this process, I have felt so much lighter. I don’t necessarily see a path ahead, but I feel it. And for now, that’s enough.
My whole deal – writing, podcasting, my book – they’re all about homeschooling with you. I’ve never been an expert offering advice. I’ve always felt more like a big sister – sharing the raw truth with you, and trying to remind you to be kinder to yourself, more patient, gentler …
Right now, I need those things.
I need slow.
I need to knit, and read, and drink tea and yes, write, but maybe not for public consumption just yet.
So please know, that as I find my way, I will miss you.
A few people have said “Kara, maybe THIS is the next step – maybe you help mamas navigate what to do as their children grow up and move on.”
And maybe. Maybe at some point.
But it’s all so raw and new – it would feel like serving you crudité instead of a lovingly slow-cooked, nourishing vegetable soup.
It would be fine, but you’d be hungry again in a half-hour.
That said, I’ll share a few things that are helping me:
- Vanessa Wright’s Life Coaching
- Friends at this same life stage
- Knitting (I’m making a knit version of one of these!)
- Quiet mornings
- Marcus. (He’s a chipmunk. We have a whole thing.)
- This book. Oh my, this book.
- Yoga and Meditation
- Copious amounts of chocolate and caramels
In fact, during that speaking thing last week, the host asked where people could find me and I answered “therapy.”
It’s true. Therapy is a tremendous help.
And you know what my therapist asks me every session …
She asks what I am doing for self-care.
Self-care is a big deal to me, because I didn’t think I had time for it for a long time, but what was really going on was that I didn’t think I was worthy of it and also, I thought that to be a good mom, I had to give my kids every ounce of me.
That is not the recipe.
The actual recipe should go more like, give your kids some of you and then take REALLY good care of yourself so you can wake up tomorrow and have something more to give.
I’ve written a lot about self-care over the years, mostly because I’ve been trying to figure it out.
It isn’t easy. It’s a practice.
Which brings me back to perfection … the life-choking trait, not the game.
A long time ago now, I changed my tagline on this blog to “Connection, Not Perfection.”
And here I am, seemingly disconnecting.
What the heck, Kara?
So let me tell you this: This is the part of the movie where the hero (YOU!) realizes that she has had everything she needed inside her this whole time. The other character, let’s call her Dumbledore, was just there as a guide for a while.
And it still stands – what I hope for you and your family is connection, not perfection.
Friends, let connection be the lighthouse you seek when the seas get rough, and you’re not sure how to get home again.
I can’t tell you if I’ll be back, or when, but I can tell you – it’s never been about perfection, Dear Heart.
It’s about courage and showing up and continuing to show up, and connecting and reconnecting, and then knowing when it’s time to let go.
So much love to you,
P.S. A lot of you have asked about my book. It’s not going anywhere. You can still grab it in paperback, ebook or audio.
In fact, play this if you need a little hug: