Kara S. Anderson

Homeschool connection, not perfection.

Stop trying to do it all in your homeschool

by Kara S. Anderson 2 Comments

Well first, let me apologize for the bossy title.

I’m not normally so forceful, it’s just that I happen to have encountered a lot of moms lately who are dealing with burn-out.

Like, drag-me-up-off-the-floor-to-make-a-quesadilla level of burn-out and exhaustion.

I think a lot of things can cause us to burn out, and right now, I think a lot of us are still coping with pandemic exhaustion.

Yesterday I was talking with some friends and we decided that the pandemic has made everything at least 15 percent harder.

Everything.

Some things are even harder than that.

  • My son opening a bank account –  at least 40 percent harder than it used to be.
  • Our family just bought a car – minimum 50 percent harder than it was two years ago when we bought a car.

And this applies to everything right now.

Enough

Yesterday on the way to physical therapy, I realized I forgot a mask, which is still required at the clinic. I found one ON THE FLOOR OF MY CAR, picked it up, inspected it, and put it on my face.

Near my mouth.

Where the food goes.

(Speaking of food – food is just always hard. Forever. Send Doordash.)

So if you are like me, you are always looking for ways to make things a bit easier.

That’s where this post comes in.

And my bossy tone.

Giving up?

Because none of us feels like it’s OK to give up, right?

Our culture tells us moms are supposed to work hard, be exhausted, surrender to the messy house and messy bun, and then start drinking wine at 4 p.m.

Yikes. (Yikes about the wine being the answer – I have proudly rocked a messy bun pretty much every day of my life since college).

We’re constantly told that to BE ENOUGH, we have to DO “ENOUGH.”

Now, I wrote a whole book about how this is not true, but still, I get haunted by the lies. They sneak up on me like ninjas whispering: “your bathroom sink is gross right now, you Complete Failure As a Human Being.”

Doing less in your homeschool

A while back, I sent out an email to my blog friends (you guys!) asking about your Number 1 struggle with homeschooling.

It was kind of incredible – the answers varied, but many, many of them said the same thing: being consistent.

Now I’m not saying I have all the answers, but I definitely think I have an answer to this:

Do Less.

Doing less it just easier than doing more. It’s a lower barrier to entry. It’s attainable and therefore less intimidating to start.

I know – we think homeschooling isn’t supposed to be easy, because then we aren’t “doing enough“.

But I promise you, that isn’t the case.

And if trying to do it all is causing you to feel exhausted and burned out, you’re kind of shooting yourself in the foot, friend.

Simplified homeschooling

The past several weeks, my daughter and I have been doing a pared down, simplified version of homeschooling.

And amazingly, we’ve been really consistent about it.

Here’s the thing: Less is more when you do it more often.

 

Of course lots of other stuff is getting sprinkled in here and there. We’re constantly sharing books, but overall, this is our simple structure since my surgery back in March.

And you know how I know it’s enough?

Every day Almost every day, we get through most of these. (Except we save one day a week and do a science deep dive with our forensics kits.)

Almost every day, I can cross off subjects in our planner, and move on feeling good.

Is it perfect? No.

Is it fancy? No

Is it infinitely Instgrammable? Gosh no.

Do those things really matter?

Hell to the No.

A mindset shift

So as you plan our your days and weeks, I have a few resources for you to simplify things:

 

If you aren’t familiar with the idea of Cactus Schooling, you can head here.

 

Sending virtual hugs friends, and a reminder that you don’t have to do it all to homeschool really well.

I promise. 💙

This post contains affiliate links.

How I know that you’re enough, homeschool mom

by Kara S. Anderson Leave a Comment

I can still remember the day that I quit homeschooling.

I was on our cordless phone (this is an old story), pacing in my dining room. I was talking to the woman at the nice Montessori-esque school, and she was walking me through how to enroll my son to start in January.

And I’m going to tell you, in that minute, it didn’t feel like giving up. It felt like such relief. It felt like getting good news from the doctor.

If we’d had any extra money then, I might have celebrated.

Because I had tried homeschooling for an entire semester, and I couldn’t hack it. But in a few weeks, all the responsibility wouldn’t be on me anymore.

Hi there, Doubt

Our homeschool story doesn’t end there, of course.

My son attended the Montessori school for 5 months, and it was great, but the next year, they wanted to move him into the 6-9 year-old classroom because he was an early reader. We were sent home that summer with instructions to work on handwriting every day.

In turned out that trying to force a kid whose fine motor skills were not ready for handwriting to practice handwriting EVERY DAY was a fairly miserable way to spend a summer, so we gave that up pretty quickly, and in the fall, I registered him for Kindergarten, but then panicked and decided to try homeschooling again.

Now we’ve been at it for almost 12 years, and we love homeschooling, but let me tell you, I have dealt with some doubt.

What’s interesting is that I haven’t doubted my kids.

But I’ve doubted myself A LOT.

When a particular homeschool method didn’t work 100 percent in our home, I blamed myself.

When a certain curriculum wouldn’t work for my kids, I figured I was doing it wrong.

Maybe I wished for a minute that my kids weren’t so wiggly? Or that they didn’t dislike timed tests quite so much?

But again, I saw that as my own failing. Better moms would be better at getting their kids to sit still. They would be better at instilling perseverance!

For so long doubt was my companion in our homeschooling journey.

 

What changed?

So what’s changed?

I think things began to shift when I started writing to you.

Of course it helps that I’m actually seeing my children succeeding. At 13 and 16, neither of them have become bank robbers or Mob bosses.

But what really changed things for me was writing here – sharing our struggles and wins, and all the bumps and U-turns.

Because homeschooling is anything but a straight and simple path – but that’s kind of a benefit, isn’t it? We get to chart our own course.

Like Magellan.

Or Oprah.

Of course, any time we do something different from the norm, it’s a little scary. So doubt still creeps in for me.

It’s just that now, I know I’m enough.

And I know you are too.

I know because I feel my intense, overwhelming love for my kids, and through talking to all of you, I’ve learned you have that too.

In fact, for so many of us, it’s that intense love for our quirky kids that led us to homeschooling in the first place. It’s that love that keeps us going, even when we hit rocky patches – days, weeks, even months.

But I believe in us and our love for our kids – so much that I wrote a whole book about it.

It’s called More Than Enough: Grow Your Confidence, Banish Burn-Out and Love Your Homeschool Life.

It’s for all of us who feel scared and overwhelmed sometimes. It’s definitely for all of us who doubt ourselves – for those of us who wonder if our family is cut out for this.

(Can I tell you a secret? The very fact that you worry means that yes – you are equipped to homeschool. Because that worry is just our intense love peeking out.)

I truly believe that you are enough, your family is enough, and your love for your kids is more than enough to homeschool well.

So if you need that reminder right now, I hope you’ll check out my book, available here.

I KNOW that you love your kids endlessly – so how could you possibly fail?

‘Cheerful nonchalance’: Or how to homeschool without losing your cool

by Kara S. Anderson 2 Comments

I first heard the phrase “cheerful nonchalance” from my friend Meg.

In her mid-20s, Meg was an old soul. She was one of those people who seemed “considered,” you know what I mean?

She was basically the opposite of willy-nilly. She would not be flying by the seat of her pants, no matter how many people around her flapped and shouted.

For instance, Meg taught a group of us about a parenting technique she termed “cheerful nonchalance.”

I can’t remember exactly the way this came up, so this is the example I offer:

Let’s say that you’ve noticed that your toddler has not had a vegetable since last month.

Kids go through stages like this, but when we are young mothers, our beloved child neglecting a couple of bites of broccoli is enough to send us into a tailspin.

Meg, in her infinite wisdom, pointed out that hand-wringing, hair-tugging and weeping aren’t likely to make our kids suddenly develop a love for greens, and won’t help us navigate the situation with much aplomb.

Instead, she offered practicing cheerful nonchalance.

OK, you say to your vegetable denier. More broccoli for me. Or the dog. Or the compost bin.

Maybe you just keep serving vegetables and keep eating them but not making a big production of it and it’s just that simple?

Sounds better than the crying thing, right?

What you do not do is freak out.

Because our children, although they be small, are mighty wise. They sense our emotions like tiny sponges in dungarees, and at a certain point in their young lives when they are learning about independence and the word no, we can find ourselves on dangerous turf.

It’s better, then, to be cool.

Be cool. You be cool.

This advice carries over way past the toddler NO stage and food refusal, of course.

In fact, just recently, when I shared with my mom that a certain teen here has a “special friend,” my mom gave me some advice.

“Be cool,” she said.

But … I said.

“Be cool,” she said again, like a 65-year-old Shaft in nursing shoes and Snoopy scrubs.

And I know she’s right. This is another place to practice cheerful nonchalance.

She’s a year older? No sweat.

She drives a car? Sure.

She wants to meet you downtown for coffee like you’re both 52 and met on Match.com? Who am I to say no?

Of course, I’m the parent, so I reserve the right to say no, but I think my mom has a point. If I can just manage to be cool I’ve got a lot higher degree of likelihood that he doesn’t jump out his window in the night and head to a state where you can get married at 16.

What we don’t want in a Romeo and Juliet situation here.

Cheerful, nonchalant homeschooling

I believe that cheerful nonchalance has helped my homeschooling, because it has helped protect my relationship with my kids.

There are 82 billion ways to fix math, but it is infinitely harder to fix a broken relationship; broken trust.

So when a kid arrives at our dining room table cranky and out of sorts, the last thing I do is slap down a math worksheet and tell them they can’t get up until it’s done.

Homeschooling isn’t easy, but one huge advantage is that we don’t have to do things the traditional school way. Giving up that old mindset changes everything.

So instead, I attempt to stay cheerfully nonchalant, while also not letting my kids play Mario Kart all day and eat nothing but Hot Cheetos. It’s a balancing act, but worth the careful navigation.

Strewing 101

One way I do this is through strewing.

If you aren’t familiar with strewing, don’t worry – I just wrote a whole ebook about it!

But here’s the short version: Strewing is just placing educational materials in your child’s path for them to discover.

You can strew for pretty much any homeschool subject – my book gives you more than 100 ideas to get you started in language arts, math, science, social studies, art and more.

But I have to tell you my absolutely No. 1 strewing tip, and that is to practice strewing cheerful nonchalance.

When we get ideas to share with our kids, it’s only natural to get invested in and excited about those ideas.

But we need to be careful. Our enthusiasm can easily spill over into pushing, and that’s not what strewing is about.

In fact, some things you strew, your kids just won’t love. Trust me! I’ve been strewing for years and have strewed some real dud projects.

I’ve also strewed some stuff that turned into unit studies and long-time passions.

It’s kind of like Cactus Schooling.

We must strew GENTLY, and without a ton of emotion in order to be more successful in the long-term.

Learn More

To learn more about strewing, and my low-stress method, head over to check out my brand new ebook: Strewing 101: An Invitation to Play, Learn and Grow.

Inside you’ll find:

Answers to frequently asked strewing questions like:

  • How to do it
  • When and where
  • How to balance it with more formal academics
  • What to do when strewing goes wrong

Plus:

  • A printable for keeping track of strewing ideas
  • More than 100 strewing ideas for all subjects
  • Directions for 3 next-level strewing projects

Remember – be cool. You’ve got this.

Head here for more information and to get your copy today!

A simple guide to cleaning your homeschooling home (with FREE printable)

by Kara S. Anderson Leave a Comment

They say that you should write the book you need, so this weekend, as I tried to reset our home, I started sketching out a plan.

At first, it all looked a little crazy.

So I pulled out my three favorite cleaning books:

And I started to think about what I love about each of those books, but why none of the plans work for me …

You Live in Your Home

It’s easier to keep a house neat when you’re not in it.

So that’s the first thing I need you to hear: You USE your house, my friend. 

As a busy homeschooling mama, you are home a lot, and your kiddos make messes – paint and soup and juice and glitter and if you add in any pets … 

So regular cleaning routines might not work for you.

I get that because they never quite worked for me either. 

A New Plan

So I decided to write out a new plan, which quickly turned into a whole system. (It’s amazing what you can get done when you’re procrastinating from actual cleaning.)

And an ebook was born. It’s called The Who Has Time For This Guide to Cleaning Your Homeschool Home.

It’s 19 pages, packed with ideas, systems and 8 printables to help you clean in a new way that works for a family that uses their home a lot.

Inside you’ll get:

A full cleaning break-down – my philosophy, plus trips, tricks and advice on how to clean in bite-sized chunks, while staying on top of daily messes.

Plus, 8 printables including:

Not perfect, but cozy, inviting and calm …

What I present in the book is an imperfect and dare I say lazy-ish cleaning plan.

I have no aspirations to win awards for my housekeeping.

But I also think it would be nice if when the Fed Ex guy came by, it didn’t look like we were in the process of being robbed.

Below, you can grab a FREE sneak-peek at my system, plus you’ll get a coupon code for $4 off the full ebook.

 

Want to just jump straight in instead? Go you! Just head here.

Happy cleaning, friends,

Kara

This post contains affiliate links.