Kara S. Anderson

Homeschool connection, not perfection.

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Stop trying to do it all in your homeschool

by Kara S. Anderson 5 Comments

Well first, let me apologize for the bossy title.

I’m not normally so forceful, it’s just that I happen to have encountered a lot of moms lately who are dealing with burn-out.

Like, drag-me-up-off-the-floor-to-make-a-quesadilla level of burn-out and exhaustion.

I think a lot of things can cause us to burn out, and right now, I think a lot of us are still coping with pandemic exhaustion.

Yesterday I was talking with some friends and we decided that the pandemic has made everything at least 15 percent harder.

Everything.

Some things are even harder than that.

  • My son opening a bank account –  at least 40 percent harder than it used to be.
  • Our family just bought a car – minimum 50 percent harder than it was two years ago when we bought a car.

And this applies to everything right now.

Enough

Yesterday on the way to physical therapy, I realized I forgot a mask, which is still required at the clinic. I found one ON THE FLOOR OF MY CAR, picked it up, inspected it, and put it on my face.

Near my mouth.

Where the food goes.

(Speaking of food – food is just always hard. Forever. Send Doordash.)

So if you are like me, you are always looking for ways to make things a bit easier.

That’s where this post comes in.

And my bossy tone.

Giving up?

Because none of us feels like it’s OK to give up, right?

Our culture tells us moms are supposed to work hard, be exhausted, surrender to the messy house and messy bun, and then start drinking wine at 4 p.m.

Yikes. (Yikes about the wine being the answer – I have proudly rocked a messy bun pretty much every day of my life since college).

We’re constantly told that to BE ENOUGH, we have to DO “ENOUGH.”

Now, I wrote a whole book about how this is not true, but still, I get haunted by the lies. They sneak up on me like ninjas whispering: “your bathroom sink is gross right now, you Complete Failure As a Human Being.”

Doing less in your homeschool

A while back, I sent out an email to my blog friends (you guys!) asking about your Number 1 struggle with homeschooling.

It was kind of incredible – the answers varied, but many, many of them said the same thing: being consistent.

Now I’m not saying I have all the answers, but I definitely think I have an answer to this:

Do Less.

Doing less it just easier than doing more. It’s a lower barrier to entry. It’s attainable and therefore less intimidating to start.

I know – we think homeschooling isn’t supposed to be easy, because then we aren’t “doing enough“.

But I promise you, that isn’t the case.

And if trying to do it all is causing you to feel exhausted and burned out, you’re kind of shooting yourself in the foot, friend.

Simplified homeschooling

The past several weeks, my daughter and I have been doing a pared down, simplified version of homeschooling.

And amazingly, we’ve been really consistent about it.

Here’s the thing: Less is more when you do it more often.

 

  • Math: Math Mammoth
  • Math update 8/2021: We’ve switched to Mr. D Math now that live classes have started.
  • Language Arts: This workbook
  • Geography: One of these workbooks, paired with these two books:
    • Hungry Planet
    • Material World
  • History: This series
    • we use the audio + the books
    • we also pair them with boxes from History Unboxed
  • Science: Working our way through a Home Science Tools Forensics Unit Study using these kits

Of course lots of other stuff is getting sprinkled in here and there. We’re constantly sharing books, but overall, this is our simple structure since my surgery back in March.

NOTE: We don’t do hard-core writing in our homeschool. My kids write, but we don’t do a formal curriculum – honestly, most of the homeschool writing curriculum I have found has taken the joy out of writing for my kids.

But, I did use this book with my son, and it set him up for college writing really well. I plan to use it for my daughter as well and it is for grades 9-12 – in ONE book!

And you know how I know it’s enough?

Every day Almost every day, we get through most of these. (Except we save one day a week and do a science deep dive with our forensics kits.)

Almost every day, I can cross off subjects in our planner, and move on feeling good.

Is it perfect? No.

Is it fancy? No

Is it infinitely Instgrammable? Gosh no.

Do those things really matter?

Hell to the No.

***

Here’s a walk through video of a few resources we’re loving right now:

A mindset shift

So as you plan our your days and weeks, I have a few resources for you to simplify things:

  • My book, More Than Enough: Grow Your Confidence, Banish Burnout and Love Your Homeschool Life.

 

  • Two workshops:
    • Why You Can’t Do It All (and you shouldn’t even try)
    • Cactus Schooling 101: Purposeful Planning with an Open Hand

If you aren’t familiar with the idea of Cactus Schooling, you can head here.

  • My favorite homeschool planner

  • Blog posts:
    • 10 Ways to Start Easy This Homeschool Year
    • 77 Resources to Help You Take Better Care of Yourself This Year
    • Planning This Year: That’s Not Your Thing
    • And if like me, you have anxiety, this post about my anxiety tool kit

 

Sending virtual hugs friends, and a reminder that you don’t have to do it all to homeschool really well.

I promise. 💙

This post contains affiliate links.

Filed Under: Anxiety, Books and Reading, Homeschool Teens, Homeschooling, Mama Self-Care

Comments

  1. Liz says

    July 27, 2021 at

    Great message Kara! And a very realistic one. I say, let’s not be robots but real humans!

  2. Donnesa McPherson says

    July 27, 2021 at

    This is gold Kara ❤️ Thank you for sharing and taking out all the fancy bumbo jumbo that can be found in some homeschool circles. I have come away from watching some of these homeschool day in the life on YouTube and felt like a failure and there was no way to measure up. When I get to read about other homeachoolers that are taking a gentler approach to teaching their children, it makes my heart and mind happy. I know I can’t be the only person and appreciate what you write and am loving your book! It’s part of my read before the new school year starts Monday ❤️❤️❤️ Thank you again ❤️❤️❤️

  3. Laura says

    August 21, 2021 at

    Kara, will you share a bit more about writing? That is always my concern. Did your son do a lot of writing? I’m planning to have my daughter take an online class this year, but have heard several recommend this book. Obviously, that would be less expensive than an online class. I would love to hear more about writing, if you have time. Thanks!

  4. Kara S. Anderson says

    August 23, 2021 at

    We have done very little formal writing here. For a while, I worried I was falling down somehow, but then it occurred to me that I’m a writer by training, and whether I’m correct or it’s just hubris, I feel like I know how writing actually works in the real world, and every writing program we tried sucked the enjoyment out of writing and sometimes reading. 😣

    So instead, we’ve read a ton, read-aloud a ton, listened to audiobooks and the kids write for fun. When my son was 16 and entered college early and needed to write a paper, we used the Commonsense Press guide and it was plenty. He got As on his first two papers and has been doing great writing at the college level.

    Of course, this is just my limited experience with one kid, but I hope it helps a little. 💚

  5. Laura says

    August 30, 2021 at

    Thanks so much for replying, Kara! Encouraging words!

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Hey there!

I’m Kara – writer, tea drinker, yoga-doer and girl with the overdue books.

 

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kara s anderson
It’s safer on the shore, right? The women stayi It’s safer on the shore, right?

The women staying in the house next to us saw me, camera in hand, safe in the sand …

“You’re the smart one,” a small, tanned mother of a 36-year-old daughter said.

Another chuckled and told us she regularly paddle boards across the bay with a wine glass balanced on the bow, salad on the stern …

The women were different from one another; friends for a long time, you could just tell, spending a month together at the beach, taking turns making simple, beautiful, rustic dinners, like pasta in a giant serving bowl and fresh artichokes.

🌊

“I think I want to try,” I told my friends, after some time waiting, watching … photographing the most gorgeous sunset.

Fear (anxiety) will make us well aware of all the risks, except maybe the risk of missing big, defining moments.
 
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I got back to shore and shook for 90 minutes. 

It was scary. 

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It’s probably safer on the shore.

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“You knew what you had to do,
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-Mary Oliver

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I don’t know if I could ever really explain to someone without anxiety how scary the past few days were, while also being some of the best of my life. 💙

I’m immensely grateful.
Sometimes you meet someone - not in person, but ac Sometimes you meet someone - not in person, but across the miles - and there’s just a connection.

I think it was Erin’s enthusiasm for reading Harry Potter with her kids and coming up with creative HP ⚡️ learning activities that made me realize she and I were meant to meet, even if it was only virtually.

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We love you, Erin! 💜💜
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I finally wrote a thing about transcripts for when you are unschooly.

This is just based on my experience with one kid, but I’m happy to try to answer any questions.

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P.S. Very glad I bought sparkly hats and a themed teddy bear.

I don’t know much about party planning, but these were wise investments, I think.
Hi. I’m totally fine, except tomorrow is my son Hi.

I’m totally fine, except tomorrow is my son’s graduation party and I’m not even close to fine, like … I find myself just sort of stuck here again, unable to do normal things like eat the salad I just made.

I was talking to my friend Jenn about this launching kids thing, and she said to be OK with both parts - to feel both parts.

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Signed, 
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