Kara S. Anderson

Homeschool connection, not perfection.

Is a food making your anxiety worse? (with a free tracking printable)

by Kara S. Anderson Leave a Comment

Is there a food that’s adding to your anxiety?

That’s the question I was asking myself recently, when I started looking up some of the stuff that can happen when you are intolerant or sensitive to a food (or food group, like dairy or nightshades or whatever). 

And there it was listed – a possible side effect of a food intolerance can include anxiety.

Plus other stuff was listed. A food intolerance can give you headaches. It can make your tummy hurt. It can make your muscles and joints sore. It can make you really tired.

And of course all of those things can add to anxiety because our busy, protective anxiety brains may decide those things indicate other health issues.

Important. Please Read ⬇️

Now. Before we go one step further – I am not a medical professional of any type. 

Please do not take anything I write here as a substitution for proper medical advice and care.

If you are in a crisis or need help, please call 911, go to the nearest emergency room or call the National  Alliance on Mental Illness Helpline at 800.950.NAMI or text NAMI to 741741.

No Cheating. Sorry.

Now, assuming that you have proper medical care, but are living with anxiety, one thing you can do if you believe food is worsening your symptoms is to eliminate the food and track how you feel.

I’ve seen conflicting reports on how long you should eliminate a food from your diet, but in most cases, two weeks to 21 days seems to be the minimum recommendation.

And certainly, if you start to notice a big difference in how you’re feeling, you can continue longer.

I don’t want to get bossy about how to do an elimination diet and/or adding food back in, so if this is your first time trying an elimination diet, be sure to research all that’s involved. (There are about 80 million books on this topic.)

But two tips: Nope, when you are doing a true elimination diet, you can not cheat. You can’t have just one Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup, or one piece of pizza or one bite of anything if it contains the food you’re eliminating and get proper results.

Also, only eliminate one food at a time, otherwise, you won’t know specifically what food is potentially contributing to your anxiety without way more investigative work beyond the scope of this free printable.

A FREE Printable Tracker

I made this free printable food elimination tracker for you if you suspect that something you are eating is perhaps making your anxiety symptoms worse. (I say eating, but it could be drinking, like in the case of caffeine).

To use the tracker, simply track the date, anything going on physically, anything going on emotionally, any other thoughts, and rate your anxiety.

(You can print out as many of the tracker pages as you need, but I recommend you only check in once or twice a day, so this doesn’t become burdensome. You’re already shifting your diet and that takes a lot of effort.)

Based on my experience – give this time. It may take a week or more to see any changes. Drink lots of water. Maybe take some epsom salt baths to help your body detoxify.

*Again – I am not a medical professional.*

But, if you notice that you are feeling better without that thing – a food, food group, caffeine, sugar, etc., in your body – Wahoo. Because you feel better!

But also, don’t just decide – “OK, gluten is BAD forever” or whatever.

Just use this as some information, and proceed responsibly.

You know how to do that. You’re a grown up person and you’ve made it this far, with ANXIETY, so just keep going.

Talk to a doctor or medical professional. Tell your shrink. Call your mom.

And be proud of yourself even if you tried this experiment and your anxiety didn’t get better.

You are actively working to take good care of yourself, and that’s HUGE. High five.

 

Right now, it’s like this.

Finally, sometimes, when we have anxiety, we keep throwing figurative spaghetti at the wall trying to see if anything will stick.

Sometimes, we try so many things, that “fixing” our anxiety becomes a part-time job.

A popular phrase in meditation circles is “Right now, it’s like this.”

I like to remember that when I go into Fix-It Mode, because sometimes, there just really isn’t much we can do to “fix” our anxiety.

We can take good care of ourselves, and we can go to our appointments, and if we take meds, we can stay on top of that, and we can ask for help, but we may not be able to “cure” our anxiety altogether, even if we pray or take medicine or douse ourselves in essential oils, or exercise, or meditate, or do deep breathing, or pet a therapy llama or stop eating sugar.

This free printable is just one tool that I made to see if it would help me feel a little better, and I wanted to share it with you.

But that’s all it is – a tool.

 

Again, if you are in any kind of crisis, please call 911, go to the nearest emergency room or call the National Alliance on Mental Illness Helpline at 800.950.NAMI or text NAMI to 741741.

Sending you so much love, 

Kara

Looking for more? Join me over on Instagram, (@karastephensonanderson) where we chat connection over perfection, anxiety, overwhelm and doing the best we can. 

NEED HELP ORGANIZING YOUR FOOD LIFE? I GET IT. Check out my meal planning system ebook here

or click the image below.

This post contains affiliate links.

The hard part of homeschooling isn’t really the “school”

by Kara S. Anderson 3 Comments

I know this sounds a bit controversial, so roll with me.

Right now, we’re heading into our 14th year of homeschooling. My son is 17, and although we haven’t had a cap and gown ceremony or party (I should get on that), I’m not really “homeschooling” him anymore. Instead, he’s taking college classes and working one-on-one with a Japanese tutor.

My daughter is 14, and we’re heading into high school, so I am still neck-deep in homeschooling.

And I feel confident to say that after years of various ups and downs, starts and restarts, bummer curriculum and stuff that has made it for the long-haul, the actual teaching/learning isn’t the hardest part.

I think these are the things that make homeschooling really hard:

Expectations

Expectations are a killer, whether they are your own or someone else’s; whether they are on you or your kids.

If you ever find yourself feeling like you are “drowning,” most likely you’re actually drowning not in work, but in expectations.

These are the supposed tos and shoulds that creep up on us.

A friend recently told me that she just doesn’t love outdoors stuff and it was so freeing I wanted to cry.

I’ve wanted for years to be an outdoorsy mom – hiking and camping, and taking my kids on awesome nature walks.

But two things always got in the way:

  1. I don’t actually know a lot about nature.
  2. I don’t really enjoy being in nature a lot of the time.

I’m allergic to bee stings – I’m allergic to a lot of nature, actually.

I hate being hot. Or cold.

I get lost super easily.

All of these things make nature walks a little scary and overwhelming.

Still, when my kids were young, I forced myself to do them.

I just wish now that I would have considered other ways – teaming up with a crew – maybe especially another mom who knew more about nature and would also be there if I got attacked by bees or got us lost.

My kids did lots of nature camps, and did nature study with an awesome naturalist who was part of our old co-op.

I wish I could have let that be enough instead of feeling constant guilt and failure about not being “better” at nature.

Comparison

Instagram is the living worst. It used to be Pinterest that made me feel bad, but now, when I start to get overwhelmed, one of the first things I do is take Instagram off my phone.

I always put it back on, because I also somehow love it? but the exposure to ALL of the ideas can make us feel like everyone but us is “doing it all.”

Theodore Roosevelt said comparison is the thief of joy, right before he hopped off the moose he was riding and wrestled a bear and then made that bear his best friend.

Only part of that is true, but my point is, he did things his own way and was successful.

Teddy would have loved nothing more than to punch Mark Zuckerberg in the neck for thinking up social media without considering social consequences.

Fear

A few nights ago, I dreamt that I was at my own birthday party, but I was wearing all kinds of sentimental jewelry and I kept losing track of pieces of it.

So I couldn’t enjoy the insane blow-out party, where I was surrounded by friends and karaoke and cake.

When we worry, it distracts us.

It takes our focus away from what matters most, which is our kids and their overall health and happiness.

We were never meant to be teachers first.

If we wanted our kids to have teachers who cared most about our kids learning just like their peers, we would have sent them to school.

This is not to insult teachers – they work hard and receive specialized training and serve a huge, valuable purpose. I’m just saying, that isn’t our role.

None of that was ever ours to carry.

Guilt

I’ve started to believe that we can get through most things if we can deal with the guilt and shame surrounding those things.

It’s not the mistakes that get us – it’s the guilt and shame over the mistakes. It’s picking a math curriculum that makes our kids cry, and still trying to force it and then later seeing how much harm it did and not being able to let that part go.

I can’t tell you how many mistakes and missteps have made up the last 14 years.

(That last 44, really. Once, as a baby, I slept on my ear wrong and it got folded over and stuck like a Spock ear and my mom, a registered nurse, called our pediatrician sobbing because she was convinced it was going to stay like that. Sorry Mom.).

When we hold on to guilt, we get stuck in the mistake. Like some kind of emotional quicksand. The harder to try to “fix,” the deeper in we get until we’re up to our heads, still trying to justify and explain.

Let the mistakes go, friends. Give them not just wings, but a ride to the airport.

Worry Over Enough

I named my book accidentally. I started writing and stuff came out, and part of what came out was a title, “More Than Enough.”

Because I desperately wanted homeschool parents to know that they were enough. That their family was enough, even if their family doesn’t look like the little Instagram squares that get a billion likes.

I wanted parents to be able to stop wasting their precious time with their kids feeling less than.

This became the whole theme of my book, of course (and shameless plug – it’s now available on Amazon!), but I want to remind you here too – worrying that you are somehow not enough to do this right is nonsense.

No one cares about your kids more than you do.

I have seen it time and again – in every DM, in every email, at every conference where I speak – the parents who worry are the ones getting it right because sadly, the way our love comes out sometimes is worry.

What can we do about that? Maybe I’ll let you know in another 14 years.

Trying to do life too

Where do I begin?

I guess I’ll say this: if all we had to do in a given day was homeschool, it would feel like a Sandals vacation.

But someone has to cook, and clean and do laundry, and take care of pets and cars and broken appliances and plumbing and drop off a casserole and take a sick parent to the doctor and also do our own eyebrows and work-out, preferably before lunch because this afternoon is PACKED.

You’re a damn treasure and we should all get summers off of everything, just so we can sleep.

 

Free Workbook!

I know the last thing you need right now is homework, but consider what I’m an offering an investment – a way to get more time by letting something really big go like:

  • Expectations
  • Comparison
  • Fear
  • Guilt
  • Worry Over Being Enough

In this workbook, I’m going to walk you through some steps to release one of those things.

If you’re feeling super motivated, you can print out a bunch of copies and let more stuff go later on.

But remember, your life is full.

Deep breaths and baby steps, friend.

Re-imagine …

Mostly, I just want you to open up to the idea that the hardest parts of homeschooling really come from our mindset.

It’s trying to force what isn’t working. It’s comparing our amazing, goofy families to how we imagine other families to be.

It’s trying to make homeschooling about school first.

Homeschooling is about not being in school; not trying to replicate school. It’s finding freedom outside of a building where someone made up rules a long time ago.

Homeschooling can be HARD. For so many reasons.

But we can release some pressure by not trying to do it the way someone else wants us to, by not comparing to others, by not letting the fear take over, by not getting hung up on missteps and by stopping the worry that we aren’t enough.

OF COURSE you’re enough.

For crying out loud, you’ve read this far.

So grab a free workbook and let’s practice the beautiful art of letting go of something we never needed in the first place. 🤍

 

This post contains affiliate links.

Stop trying to do it all in your homeschool

by Kara S. Anderson 5 Comments

Well first, let me apologize for the bossy title.

I’m not normally so forceful, it’s just that I happen to have encountered a lot of moms lately who are dealing with burn-out.

Like, drag-me-up-off-the-floor-to-make-a-quesadilla level of burn-out and exhaustion.

I think a lot of things can cause us to burn out, and right now, I think a lot of us are still coping with pandemic exhaustion.

Yesterday I was talking with some friends and we decided that the pandemic has made everything at least 15 percent harder.

Everything.

Some things are even harder than that.

  • My son opening a bank account –  at least 40 percent harder than it used to be.
  • Our family just bought a car – minimum 50 percent harder than it was two years ago when we bought a car.

And this applies to everything right now.

Enough

Yesterday on the way to physical therapy, I realized I forgot a mask, which is still required at the clinic. I found one ON THE FLOOR OF MY CAR, picked it up, inspected it, and put it on my face.

Near my mouth.

Where the food goes.

(Speaking of food – food is just always hard. Forever. Send Doordash.)

So if you are like me, you are always looking for ways to make things a bit easier.

That’s where this post comes in.

And my bossy tone.

Giving up?

Because none of us feels like it’s OK to give up, right?

Our culture tells us moms are supposed to work hard, be exhausted, surrender to the messy house and messy bun, and then start drinking wine at 4 p.m.

Yikes. (Yikes about the wine being the answer – I have proudly rocked a messy bun pretty much every day of my life since college).

We’re constantly told that to BE ENOUGH, we have to DO “ENOUGH.”

Now, I wrote a whole book about how this is not true, but still, I get haunted by the lies. They sneak up on me like ninjas whispering: “your bathroom sink is gross right now, you Complete Failure As a Human Being.”

Doing less in your homeschool

A while back, I sent out an email to my blog friends (you guys!) asking about your Number 1 struggle with homeschooling.

It was kind of incredible – the answers varied, but many, many of them said the same thing: being consistent.

Now I’m not saying I have all the answers, but I definitely think I have an answer to this:

Do Less.

Doing less it just easier than doing more. It’s a lower barrier to entry. It’s attainable and therefore less intimidating to start.

I know – we think homeschooling isn’t supposed to be easy, because then we aren’t “doing enough“.

But I promise you, that isn’t the case.

And if trying to do it all is causing you to feel exhausted and burned out, you’re kind of shooting yourself in the foot, friend.

Simplified homeschooling

The past several weeks, my daughter and I have been doing a pared down, simplified version of homeschooling.

And amazingly, we’ve been really consistent about it.

Here’s the thing: Less is more when you do it more often.

 

Of course lots of other stuff is getting sprinkled in here and there. We’re constantly sharing books, but overall, this is our simple structure since my surgery back in March.

NOTE: We don’t do hard-core writing in our homeschool. My kids write, but we don’t do a formal curriculum – honestly, most of the homeschool writing curriculum I have found has taken the joy out of writing for my kids.

But, I did use this book with my son, and it set him up for college writing really well. I plan to use it for my daughter as well and it is for grades 9-12 – in ONE book!

And you know how I know it’s enough?

Every day Almost every day, we get through most of these. (Except we save one day a week and do a science deep dive with our forensics kits.)

Almost every day, I can cross off subjects in our planner, and move on feeling good.

Is it perfect? No.

Is it fancy? No

Is it infinitely Instgrammable? Gosh no.

Do those things really matter?

Hell to the No.

***

Here’s a walk through video of a few resources we’re loving right now:

A mindset shift

So as you plan our your days and weeks, I have a few resources for you to simplify things:

 

If you aren’t familiar with the idea of Cactus Schooling, you can head here.

 

Sending virtual hugs friends, and a reminder that you don’t have to do it all to homeschool really well.

I promise. 💙

This post contains affiliate links.

Meet my favorite new homeschool planners!

by Kara S. Anderson Leave a Comment

I have spent years beating my head against the wall over homeschool planning.

Part of me always wants to be chiller than I actually am. We’re interest-led learners here.

RELAX, I scream (quietly) to myself at 4 a.m.

But I just can’t. It’s not who I am, and so over the years I have tried several different approaches to planning.

I’ve tried “reverse,” planning, or writing down what we do after the fact. This is comforting to me when I get caught up in a cycle of worrying that we aren’t doing enough.

It’s also comforting when I buy my kids a new video game, and they only want to play that game, and I need written proof that they are doing other things and that I’m not just raising those children who grow up to become adults who scream their gameplay on YouTube, but let’s face it, are also millionaires.

More structure

But, there have been other times when one or more of us has craved more structure.

That’s when I implement my 6-weeks at a time planning approach, which I talk about in my book and share more about here.

The truth is, some level of planning helps me. It helps me focus on what’s most important, it helps me stay focused and it helps me know what’s coming, which means a lot for my anxious mama soul.

Even if I go willy-nilly, or skip a week – it helps me to have things written down and out of my brain.

My new favorite planner

Recently I was on my friend Jessica’s site – The Waldock Way – grabbing one of her amazing Who Was unit Studies when I stumbled across her planners.

I asked her for a peek inside and friends – you need to take a look.

Jessica’s planners are some of the most complete homeschool planners I’ve seen, including both everything you need for planning, but also specific pages for record keeping.

Maybe best of all – she has 4 options.

OK. That’s actually not the best of all. Jessica and I have a shared love of Harry Potter – we often suggest people bundle her Waldock Wizards and Wands with my Herbology Unit Study to create Hogwarts in Your Homeschool – so of course she has an amazing Harry Potter inspired planner!

But just in case HP isn’t your thing, her other homeschool planners include a bold colors option, a pastel option and a … flamingo option.

Planner Features!

All of Jessica’s beautifully constructed planners include:

  • weekly and monthly planning
  • a records section
  • resources for unit study planning
  • and a weekly meal planning page! (seriously! Bonus Jonas!)
  • morning basket planning pages (and bedtime basket planning!)
  • a game log
  • a book log
  • and a page for passwords because I can not be the only one tired of trying to remember everything plus a capital letter, plus a symbol ohmahgoodness.

What I love most!

But maybe what I love most (besides the amazing design of the Harry Potter Planner) is that Jessica gives you options:

  • you can choose a Sunday or Monday start
  • you receive an editable version if you are techy and fancy!
  • the planners include the whole year if you homeschool year-round or don’t follow the traditional school schedule
  • there are options for 4-day and 5-day school weeks

Honestly, these planners are so thoughtfully designed, and are such a bargain.

Plus, I got mine printed at Office Depot, and it’s gorgeous. 😍 P.S. They do binding there too!

So if you are looking for a do-it-all homeschool planner this year, head over to Jessica’s shop, and while you’re there, check out her other amazing products.

Happy planning!!

Planner Walk-Through!!

P.S. Speaking of Jessica’s amazing products, I have one more for you to check out!

Her new Waldock Way Guide to Homeschooling a simple, open and go guide to homeschooling, perfect for those just starting out, those looking for a simple guide this planning season and those who would love some reassurance and new ideas.

And the bargain price, you guys – it’s just $5.

But it’s PACKED with awesomeness including …

Tips for:

– creating a routine

– turning around a bad day and 

– making learning fun

Plus:

– Checklists for pre-school through 8th grade!

– Tips for homeschooling high school

– Advice from experts (I even have a little blurb in there!)

– Helpful links

– Planning printables and more

Be sure to check it out here.

This post is brought to you in partnership with The Waldock Way and contains affiliate links. All opinions are my own.

karastephensonanderson

kara s anderson