Kara S. Anderson

Homeschool connection, not perfection.

Is a food making your anxiety worse? (with a free tracking printable)

by Kara S. Anderson Leave a Comment

Is there a food that’s adding to your anxiety?

That’s the question I was asking myself recently, when I started looking up some of the stuff that can happen when you are intolerant or sensitive to a food (or food group, like dairy or nightshades or whatever). 

And there it was listed – a possible side effect of a food intolerance can include anxiety.

Plus other stuff was listed. A food intolerance can give you headaches. It can make your tummy hurt. It can make your muscles and joints sore. It can make you really tired.

And of course all of those things can add to anxiety because our busy, protective anxiety brains may decide those things indicate other health issues.

Important. Please Read ⬇️

Now. Before we go one step further – I am not a medical professional of any type. 

Please do not take anything I write here as a substitution for proper medical advice and care.

If you are in a crisis or need help, please call 911, go to the nearest emergency room or call the National  Alliance on Mental Illness Helpline at 800.950.NAMI or text NAMI to 741741.

No Cheating. Sorry.

Now, assuming that you have proper medical care, but are living with anxiety, one thing you can do if you believe food is worsening your symptoms is to eliminate the food and track how you feel.

I’ve seen conflicting reports on how long you should eliminate a food from your diet, but in most cases, two weeks to 21 days seems to be the minimum recommendation.

And certainly, if you start to notice a big difference in how you’re feeling, you can continue longer.

I don’t want to get bossy about how to do an elimination diet and/or adding food back in, so if this is your first time trying an elimination diet, be sure to research all that’s involved. (There are about 80 million books on this topic.)

But two tips: Nope, when you are doing a true elimination diet, you can not cheat. You can’t have just one Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup, or one piece of pizza or one bite of anything if it contains the food you’re eliminating and get proper results.

Also, only eliminate one food at a time, otherwise, you won’t know specifically what food is potentially contributing to your anxiety without way more investigative work beyond the scope of this free printable.

A FREE Printable Tracker

I made this free printable food elimination tracker for you if you suspect that something you are eating is perhaps making your anxiety symptoms worse. (I say eating, but it could be drinking, like in the case of caffeine).

To use the tracker, simply track the date, anything going on physically, anything going on emotionally, any other thoughts, and rate your anxiety.

(You can print out as many of the tracker pages as you need, but I recommend you only check in once or twice a day, so this doesn’t become burdensome. You’re already shifting your diet and that takes a lot of effort.)

Based on my experience – give this time. It may take a week or more to see any changes. Drink lots of water. Maybe take some epsom salt baths to help your body detoxify.

*Again – I am not a medical professional.*

But, if you notice that you are feeling better without that thing – a food, food group, caffeine, sugar, etc., in your body – Wahoo. Because you feel better!

But also, don’t just decide – “OK, gluten is BAD forever” or whatever.

Just use this as some information, and proceed responsibly.

You know how to do that. You’re a grown up person and you’ve made it this far, with ANXIETY, so just keep going.

Talk to a doctor or medical professional. Tell your shrink. Call your mom.

And be proud of yourself even if you tried this experiment and your anxiety didn’t get better.

You are actively working to take good care of yourself, and that’s HUGE. High five.

 

Right now, it’s like this.

Finally, sometimes, when we have anxiety, we keep throwing figurative spaghetti at the wall trying to see if anything will stick.

Sometimes, we try so many things, that “fixing” our anxiety becomes a part-time job.

A popular phrase in meditation circles is “Right now, it’s like this.”

I like to remember that when I go into Fix-It Mode, because sometimes, there just really isn’t much we can do to “fix” our anxiety.

We can take good care of ourselves, and we can go to our appointments, and if we take meds, we can stay on top of that, and we can ask for help, but we may not be able to “cure” our anxiety altogether, even if we pray or take medicine or douse ourselves in essential oils, or exercise, or meditate, or do deep breathing, or pet a therapy llama or stop eating sugar.

This free printable is just one tool that I made to see if it would help me feel a little better, and I wanted to share it with you.

But that’s all it is – a tool.

 

Again, if you are in any kind of crisis, please call 911, go to the nearest emergency room or call the National Alliance on Mental Illness Helpline at 800.950.NAMI or text NAMI to 741741.

Sending you so much love, 

Kara

Looking for more? Join me over on Instagram, (@karastephensonanderson) where we chat connection over perfection, anxiety, overwhelm and doing the best we can. 

NEED HELP ORGANIZING YOUR FOOD LIFE? I GET IT. Check out my meal planning system ebook here

or click the image below.

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Stop trying to do it all in your homeschool

by Kara S. Anderson 5 Comments

Well first, let me apologize for the bossy title.

I’m not normally so forceful, it’s just that I happen to have encountered a lot of moms lately who are dealing with burn-out.

Like, drag-me-up-off-the-floor-to-make-a-quesadilla level of burn-out and exhaustion.

I think a lot of things can cause us to burn out, and right now, I think a lot of us are still coping with pandemic exhaustion.

Yesterday I was talking with some friends and we decided that the pandemic has made everything at least 15 percent harder.

Everything.

Some things are even harder than that.

  • My son opening a bank account –  at least 40 percent harder than it used to be.
  • Our family just bought a car – minimum 50 percent harder than it was two years ago when we bought a car.

And this applies to everything right now.

Enough

Yesterday on the way to physical therapy, I realized I forgot a mask, which is still required at the clinic. I found one ON THE FLOOR OF MY CAR, picked it up, inspected it, and put it on my face.

Near my mouth.

Where the food goes.

(Speaking of food – food is just always hard. Forever. Send Doordash.)

So if you are like me, you are always looking for ways to make things a bit easier.

That’s where this post comes in.

And my bossy tone.

Giving up?

Because none of us feels like it’s OK to give up, right?

Our culture tells us moms are supposed to work hard, be exhausted, surrender to the messy house and messy bun, and then start drinking wine at 4 p.m.

Yikes. (Yikes about the wine being the answer – I have proudly rocked a messy bun pretty much every day of my life since college).

We’re constantly told that to BE ENOUGH, we have to DO “ENOUGH.”

Now, I wrote a whole book about how this is not true, but still, I get haunted by the lies. They sneak up on me like ninjas whispering: “your bathroom sink is gross right now, you Complete Failure As a Human Being.”

Doing less in your homeschool

A while back, I sent out an email to my blog friends (you guys!) asking about your Number 1 struggle with homeschooling.

It was kind of incredible – the answers varied, but many, many of them said the same thing: being consistent.

Now I’m not saying I have all the answers, but I definitely think I have an answer to this:

Do Less.

Doing less it just easier than doing more. It’s a lower barrier to entry. It’s attainable and therefore less intimidating to start.

I know – we think homeschooling isn’t supposed to be easy, because then we aren’t “doing enough“.

But I promise you, that isn’t the case.

And if trying to do it all is causing you to feel exhausted and burned out, you’re kind of shooting yourself in the foot, friend.

Simplified homeschooling

The past several weeks, my daughter and I have been doing a pared down, simplified version of homeschooling.

And amazingly, we’ve been really consistent about it.

Here’s the thing: Less is more when you do it more often.

 

Of course lots of other stuff is getting sprinkled in here and there. We’re constantly sharing books, but overall, this is our simple structure since my surgery back in March.

NOTE: We don’t do hard-core writing in our homeschool. My kids write, but we don’t do a formal curriculum – honestly, most of the homeschool writing curriculum I have found has taken the joy out of writing for my kids.

But, I did use this book with my son, and it set him up for college writing really well. I plan to use it for my daughter as well and it is for grades 9-12 – in ONE book!

And you know how I know it’s enough?

Every day Almost every day, we get through most of these. (Except we save one day a week and do a science deep dive with our forensics kits.)

Almost every day, I can cross off subjects in our planner, and move on feeling good.

Is it perfect? No.

Is it fancy? No

Is it infinitely Instgrammable? Gosh no.

Do those things really matter?

Hell to the No.

***

Here’s a walk through video of a few resources we’re loving right now:

A mindset shift

So as you plan our your days and weeks, I have a few resources for you to simplify things:

 

If you aren’t familiar with the idea of Cactus Schooling, you can head here.

 

Sending virtual hugs friends, and a reminder that you don’t have to do it all to homeschool really well.

I promise. 💙

This post contains affiliate links.

The golden morning routine that changed everything

by Kara S. Anderson 3 Comments

Part of me wanted to shout about this from the rooftops weeks ago. That’s how excited I was.

But, I wanted to wait to see if this new thing wasn’t just a temporary boost – a little oomph that would fade and I would end up back where I so often am, feeling disorganized, frustrated, and worn out.

Running around with no end goals or guideposts in place is exhausting, right?

How do we know if we’re even accomplishing ANYTHING?

And as moms, we need those success markers sometimes, I think. So much of what we’re doing is on desperate repeat – dishes, laundry, bedtime, repeat …

So much of our work takes time to show itself. Are we raising wonderful, creative, loving people, or will our beloved little ones grow up and turn into Catfish villains?

A solid morning routine

And so today, finally, I want to share with you the morning routine that has changed everything.

I’m trying to think if that’s hyperbole, and I really don’t think it is. Having a solid morning routine has helped me to feel more organized, more put-together, which makes me more confident.

It’s helped me feel stronger, calmer and it feels easier to deal with the constant disruptions (eruptions) that happen during a mom’s day.

So yes – I’m going with it.

This routine has been gold for me. Maybe it will be for you too?

Or maybe my routine will serve as a template for you to create your own golden routine.

In fact, I’m making a free printable to help you do just that.

>>Grab it here<<

Why routine?

I thrive with routine, but I am terrible at creating and implementing routines. Which means in order to a create a brand new, successful, sustainable morning routine, I started by cruising around Pinterest for about a week.

Honestly – it’s all an algorithm over there, so the minute you click on one routine post, 7,000 more auto-populate (along with ads for bras and Activia yogurt.)

This is when I started a little larceny.

When I saw a morning idea that sounded good, I stole it and put it on a list.

I did this for a while. It was a good list.

A BIG list.

Then I considered what I needed.

I needed – no, I wanted more intentional mornings.

Clearly, the entire list was not for me. If Essentialism has taught me anything, it’s that we have to be careful what we bring in.

It’s like our cars, right? They’re not very large. So we bring in 22 travel mugs and 15 books and 11 granola bars, plus things our kids need – whoops – and it’s all overwhelming.

Whatever we say yes to, it means we’re saying no to other things.

And I have other things that are important like work and homeschooling my kids and cooking meals and literally herding cats. I’m sure you have your things too.

So Rule No. 1 is to not create an insane, unattainable morning routine.

If you can’t get enough sleep, or if you are trying to fit in too much before your kids wake up, it’s going to take about 3 days for the whole routine to seem like too much and like maybe it was a bad idea in the first place, and on Day 4 maybe you’ll just sleep in until someone wakes you by handing you their diaper.

Routines and Seasons

Speaking of which I am no longer in the diaper days, but I remember them well, and back then, if some lady on the internet would have shared a routine like I’m about to share, I would have told her to eat a glass salad.

It’s important to keep in mind that life has seasons, and in some seasons you’ll be able to do more in certain areas, and in others you’ll need to do less in those areas and that’s just being human.

So another option is that you can break up your morning routine, and make it more of a daily routine.

I actually think this can be helpful for moms with small kids and moms doing a lot of hands-on homeschooling with their kids.

Some kids need A LOT. And this past year especially, we’ve all given a lot as parents.

So it might be handy to add in smaller routines throughout the day to help maintain your energy, your patience and your, um … sanity.

Maybe you exercise for 10-20 minutes in the morning, read a book after lunch, and hide in the tub before bed.

Whatever YOU need. However YOU can get it.

Different needs

Speaking of which, we all have different needs and different things that fill us up.

Take some time to consider what you need. Envision your perfect morning, then remember that you have a dog and three cats and two kids and the plumber is coming and someone has to make breakfast.

Still, I highly recommend doing what I did and taking a bit of time to brainstorm what could help you best.

They say that what you do in the morning sets the tone for the day, and sometimes I want to punch people who say things like that, but as much as it’s possible, it is nice to imagine a pleasant morning, and see what we can do to make that happen as regularly as possible.*

*Not all the time because 6 months ago someone made dentist appointments at 8:15. Ahem.

It’s starts with waking

Here’s the part where I tell you you need to stop using your phone as your alarm clock, but don’t worry, what I really mean is stop using your phone’s built-in, obnoxious-arse ringtones to wake up.

None of them are pleasant. Most are like some kind of MacGyver-era count-down until the nuclear reactor blows.

They’re startling, and that’s NOT a good way to wake up.

Instead, I have two options. The first is to download some pleasant ringtones or an album that is calming, and use the songs on the album as ringtones. My friend Carla recommended this album and it’s the best for ringtonification.

Another option is a peaceful alarm clock that wakes you up slowly and gently using light and/or friendly noise. My mom bought me this one for my birthday and I love it. It’s also a sleep machine, reading light and plays meditations and simple yoga routines.

I think my Hatch helps me get to sleep better too, and that sets me up for better mornings.

The first thing I do

The first thing I do when I wake up to my Nordic Sunrise and Tibetan Bells (really!) is think of 10 things I am grateful for.

I know that sounds like a lot, but it continues to get easier. And I often list some of the same things.

Don’t worry – it’s not a pop quiz, it’s just a really lovely way to start your day.

Research shows that gratitude helps release dopamine and serotonin, two feel-good hormones.

It also, “regulates the sympathetic nervous system that activates our anxiety responses, and at the psychological level, it conditions the brain to filter the negative ruminations and focus on the positive thoughts,” according to PositivePsychology.com.

And it takes less than a minute and you can literally do it with your eyes closed.

Next Steps

This is when my morning routine really kicks into gear.

I brush my teeth, <— (I have a toothbrush crush), put in my contacts and wash my face, then I spend 5 minutes tidying my bedroom, opening my windows or shades to let in light, and then light a candle.

I feed the cats and start tea, then bring my little teapot and a mug upstairs and meditate.

My favorite app for meditation is Insight Timer.

Next, I journal for three pages.

I like these simple notebooks because they are less expensive than a hardbound version (plus you get three in a set) and if I get really angsty, I can toss it in the fireplace when I’m done.

(I journal in bed, so I use a lap desk. These are also great for portable work and homeschooling.)

I got the three pages idea from this book, but you could do one page if you are short on time or skip this all together. I just feel like getting feelings out on paper is really cathartic for me.

After that, I take my medicine, vitamins and have breakfast. (Usually a smoothie – use this link for $25 off Daily Harvest.)

Always have a daily to-do list

Then I start on my daily to do list.

I don’t always get to everything on my to-do list, and I purposely keep my to-do lists small. But if I don’t have one at all, it’s a hot mess in a dress situation, so I make one every day.

For a long time I would do a to-do list on a Post-It note, but then I bought one of these notebooks and now I use the front “dashboard” with a dry erase marker.

Is it that easy?

Yes. That’s it.

My new morning routine

All of this – especially the gentle start and the to-do list, set me up to have a brighter, clearer, less stressful day.

I know that as my kids get going and I check email, things are going to get busy. But with a good start, it all feels more manageable.

How to use your phone to make your morning better

Speaking of which, you’ll notice I don’t check social media or email until after my morning routine.

This itself has helped so much.

I used to wake up and it was like a starter pistol had gone off. I was instantly overwhelmed by questions and to-dos.

Now I only use my phone for my meditation app, to check my calendar when making my to-do list, and listening to playlists.

What to do next

Wonder what to do next? Download the free printable here and start brainstorming:

Remember, it may take a bit of time to craft what works best for you.

But stay at it, before long, you’ll have better mornings that will lead to more peaceful days.

Big news! Kara’s book More Than Enough is now available in paperback:

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How I know that you’re enough, homeschool mom

by Kara S. Anderson Leave a Comment

I can still remember the day that I quit homeschooling.

I was on our cordless phone (this is an old story), pacing in my dining room. I was talking to the woman at the nice Montessori-esque school, and she was walking me through how to enroll my son to start in January.

And I’m going to tell you, in that minute, it didn’t feel like giving up. It felt like such relief. It felt like getting good news from the doctor.

If we’d had any extra money then, I might have celebrated.

Because I had tried homeschooling for an entire semester, and I couldn’t hack it. But in a few weeks, all the responsibility wouldn’t be on me anymore.

Hi there, Doubt

Our homeschool story doesn’t end there, of course.

My son attended the Montessori school for 5 months, and it was great, but the next year, they wanted to move him into the 6-9 year-old classroom because he was an early reader. We were sent home that summer with instructions to work on handwriting every day.

In turned out that trying to force a kid whose fine motor skills were not ready for handwriting to practice handwriting EVERY DAY was a fairly miserable way to spend a summer, so we gave that up pretty quickly, and in the fall, I registered him for Kindergarten, but then panicked and decided to try homeschooling again.

Now we’ve been at it for almost 12 years, and we love homeschooling, but let me tell you, I have dealt with some doubt.

What’s interesting is that I haven’t doubted my kids.

But I’ve doubted myself A LOT.

When a particular homeschool method didn’t work 100 percent in our home, I blamed myself.

When a certain curriculum wouldn’t work for my kids, I figured I was doing it wrong.

Maybe I wished for a minute that my kids weren’t so wiggly? Or that they didn’t dislike timed tests quite so much?

But again, I saw that as my own failing. Better moms would be better at getting their kids to sit still. They would be better at instilling perseverance!

For so long doubt was my companion in our homeschooling journey.

 

What changed?

So what’s changed?

I think things began to shift when I started writing to you.

Of course it helps that I’m actually seeing my children succeeding. At 13 and 16, neither of them have become bank robbers or Mob bosses.

But what really changed things for me was writing here – sharing our struggles and wins, and all the bumps and U-turns.

Because homeschooling is anything but a straight and simple path – but that’s kind of a benefit, isn’t it? We get to chart our own course.

Like Magellan.

Or Oprah.

Of course, any time we do something different from the norm, it’s a little scary. So doubt still creeps in for me.

It’s just that now, I know I’m enough.

And I know you are too.

I know because I feel my intense, overwhelming love for my kids, and through talking to all of you, I’ve learned you have that too.

In fact, for so many of us, it’s that intense love for our quirky kids that led us to homeschooling in the first place. It’s that love that keeps us going, even when we hit rocky patches – days, weeks, even months.

But I believe in us and our love for our kids – so much that I wrote a whole book about it.

It’s called More Than Enough: Grow Your Confidence, Banish Burn-Out and Love Your Homeschool Life.

It’s for all of us who feel scared and overwhelmed sometimes. It’s definitely for all of us who doubt ourselves – for those of us who wonder if our family is cut out for this.

(Can I tell you a secret? The very fact that you worry means that yes – you are equipped to homeschool. Because that worry is just our intense love peeking out.)

I truly believe that you are enough, your family is enough, and your love for your kids is more than enough to homeschool well.

So if you need that reminder right now, I hope you’ll check out my book, available here.

I KNOW that you love your kids endlessly – so how could you possibly fail?

karastephensonanderson

kara s anderson