Kara S. Anderson

Homeschool connection, not perfection.

The golden morning routine that changed everything

by Kara S. Anderson 2 Comments

Part of me wanted to shout about this from the rooftops weeks ago. That’s how excited I was.

But, I wanted to wait to see if this new thing wasn’t just a temporary boost – a little oomph that would fade and I would end up back where I so often am, feeling disorganized, frustrated, and worn out.

Running around with no end goals or guideposts in place is exhausting, right?

How do we know if we’re even accomplishing ANYTHING?

And as moms, we need those success markers sometimes, I think. So much of what we’re doing is on desperate repeat – dishes, laundry, bedtime, repeat …

So much of our work takes time to show itself. Are we raising wonderful, creative, loving people, or will our beloved little ones grow up and turn into Catfish villains?

A solid morning routine

And so today, finally, I want to share with you the morning routine that has changed everything.

I’m trying to think if that’s hyperbole, and I really don’t think it is. Having a solid morning routine has helped me to feel more organized, more put-together, which makes me more confident.

It’s helped me feel stronger, calmer and it feels easier to deal with the constant disruptions (eruptions) that happen during a mom’s day.

So yes – I’m going with it.

This routine has been gold for me. Maybe it will be for you too?

Or maybe my routine will serve as a template for you to create your own golden routine.

In fact, I’m making a free printable to help you do just that.

>>Grab it here<<

Why routine?

I thrive with routine, but I am terrible at creating and implementing routines. Which means in order to a create a brand new, successful, sustainable morning routine, I started by cruising around Pinterest for about a week.

Honestly – it’s all an algorithm over there, so the minute you click on one routine post, 7,000 more auto-populate (along with ads for bras and Activia yogurt.)

This is when I started a little larceny.

When I saw a morning idea that sounded good, I stole it and put it on a list.

I did this for a while. It was a good list.

A BIG list.

Then I considered what I needed.

I needed – no, I wanted more intentional mornings.

Clearly, the entire list was not for me. If Essentialism has taught me anything, it’s that we have to be careful what we bring in.

It’s like our cars, right? They’re not very large. So we bring in 22 travel mugs and 15 books and 11 granola bars, plus things our kids need – whoops – and it’s all overwhelming.

Whatever we say yes to, it means we’re saying no to other things.

And I have other things that are important like work and homeschooling my kids and cooking meals and literally herding cats. I’m sure you have your things too.

So Rule No. 1 is to not create an insane, unattainable morning routine.

If you can’t get enough sleep, or if you are trying to fit in too much before your kids wake up, it’s going to take about 3 days for the whole routine to seem like too much and like maybe it was a bad idea in the first place, and on Day 4 maybe you’ll just sleep in until someone wakes you by handing you their diaper.

Routines and Seasons

Speaking of which I am no longer in the diaper days, but I remember them well, and back then, if some lady on the internet would have shared a routine like I’m about to share, I would have told her to eat a glass salad.

It’s important to keep in mind that life has seasons, and in some seasons you’ll be able to do more in certain areas, and in others you’ll need to do less in those areas and that’s just being human.

So another option is that you can break up your morning routine, and make it more of a daily routine.

I actually think this can be helpful for moms with small kids and moms doing a lot of hands-on homeschooling with their kids.

Some kids need A LOT. And this past year especially, we’ve all given a lot as parents.

So it might be handy to add in smaller routines throughout the day to help maintain your energy, your patience and your, um … sanity.

Maybe you exercise for 10-20 minutes in the morning, read a book after lunch, and hide in the tub before bed.

Whatever YOU need. However YOU can get it.

Different needs

Speaking of which, we all have different needs and different things that fill us up.

Take some time to consider what you need. Envision your perfect morning, then remember that you have a dog and three cats and two kids and the plumber is coming and someone has to make breakfast.

Still, I highly recommend doing what I did and taking a bit of time to brainstorm what could help you best.

They say that what you do in the morning sets the tone for the day, and sometimes I want to punch people who say things like that, but as much as it’s possible, it is nice to imagine a pleasant morning, and see what we can do to make that happen as regularly as possible.*

*Not all the time because 6 months ago someone made dentist appointments at 8:15. Ahem.

It’s starts with waking

Here’s the part where I tell you you need to stop using your phone as your alarm clock, but don’t worry, what I really mean is stop using your phone’s built-in, obnoxious-arse ringtones to wake up.

None of them are pleasant. Most are like some kind of MacGyver-era count-down until the nuclear reactor blows.

They’re startling, and that’s NOT a good way to wake up.

Instead, I have two options. The first is to download some pleasant ringtones or an album that is calming, and use the songs on the album as ringtones. My friend Carla recommended this album and it’s the best for ringtonification.

Another option is a peaceful alarm clock that wakes you up slowly and gently using light and/or friendly noise. My mom bought me this one for my birthday and I love it. It’s also a sleep machine, reading light and plays meditations and simple yoga routines.

I think my Hatch helps me get to sleep better too, and that sets me up for better mornings.

The first thing I do

The first thing I do when I wake up to my Nordic Sunrise and Tibetan Bells (really!) is think of 10 things I am grateful for.

I know that sounds like a lot, but it continues to get easier. And I often list some of the same things.

Don’t worry – it’s not a pop quiz, it’s just a really lovely way to start your day.

Research shows that gratitude helps release dopamine and serotonin, two feel-good hormones.

It also, “regulates the sympathetic nervous system that activates our anxiety responses, and at the psychological level, it conditions the brain to filter the negative ruminations and focus on the positive thoughts,” according to PositivePsychology.com.

And it takes less than a minute and you can literally do it with your eyes closed.

Next Steps

This is when my morning routine really kicks into gear.

I brush my teeth, <— (I have a toothbrush crush), put in my contacts and wash my face, then I spend 5 minutes tidying my bedroom, opening my windows or shades to let in light, and then light a candle.

I feed the cats and start tea, then bring my little teapot and a mug upstairs and meditate.

My favorite app for meditation is Insight Timer.

Next, I journal for three pages.

I like these simple notebooks because they are less expensive than a hardbound version (plus you get three in a set) and if I get really angsty, I can toss it in the fireplace when I’m done.

(I journal in bed, so I use a lap desk. These are also great for portable work and homeschooling.)

I got the three pages idea from this book, but you could do one page if you are short on time or skip this all together. I just feel like getting feelings out on paper is really cathartic for me.

After that, I take my medicine, vitamins and have breakfast. (Usually a smoothie – use this link for $25 off Daily Harvest.)

Always have a daily to-do list

Then I start on my daily to do list.

I don’t always get to everything on my to-do list, and I purposely keep my to-do lists small. But if I don’t have one at all, it’s a hot mess in a dress situation, so I make one every day.

For a long time I would do a to-do list on a Post-It note, but then I bought one of these notebooks and now I use the front “dashboard” with a dry erase marker.

Is it that easy?

Yes. That’s it.

My new morning routine

All of this – especially the gentle start and the to-do list, set me up to have a brighter, clearer, less stressful day.

I know that as my kids get going and I check email, things are going to get busy. But with a good start, it all feels more manageable.

How to use your phone to make your morning better

Speaking of which, you’ll notice I don’t check social media or email until after my morning routine.

This itself has helped so much.

I used to wake up and it was like a starter pistol had gone off. I was instantly overwhelmed by questions and to-dos.

Now I only use my phone for my meditation app, to check my calendar when making my to-do list, and listening to playlists.

What to do next

Wonder what to do next? Download the free printable here and start brainstorming:

Remember, it may take a bit of time to craft what works best for you.

But stay at it, before long, you’ll have better mornings that will lead to more peaceful days.

Big news! Kara’s book More Than Enough is now available in paperback:

This post contains affiliate links.

10 ways to start easy this homeschool year

by Kara S. Anderson 49 Comments

I’ve been homeschooling for 13+ years, I haven’t graduated one kid, and I switch things up ALL THE TIME.

So let’s face it — I don’t know everything about homeschooling.

On the other hand, 13 years is a fair amount of time, and I’m still at it, and I am really good (if I do say so myself) at starting well.

So here is what I recommend to parents starting out homeschooling this year:

  1. Go to the library and get your fines in order. We currently owe $28 for two books that took a summer vacation under my daughter’s bed. It’s super cute when your kids get their first library card, and they are so excited! But then they want to use them, and you’re trying to keep track of books checked out on three different cards, and it’s like your brain is trying to juggle flaming library card batons. So start with a clean slate.

Planning

2. Plan out extracurriculars for your first “semester.” My rule is that the kids can pick one activity at a time — music lessons, sports, Brownies, whatever. More than that, and we start living on frozen pizzas. Make a rule that works for you.

3. Figure out what your weeks are going to look like. I am a big rhythm fan. I like to know what’s going on so that I can talk and argue less. So I like the idea of having set days to do things — Mondays are library days. Friday is co-op. Or whatever.

4. Know that your plans are going to get screwed up some weeks. Other cool stuff will come up. People will need to visit the dentist. This is just your general plan.

5. Figure out what you want your days to look like. I’ve seen this described a lot of different ways in the homeschool-verse: make a schedule, find your rhythm, create a flow-chart, whatever … but write down a basic idea of how you want things to go and when you are going to do things. Focus on the big stuff (in our house that’s reading together, math and allowing the kids time to pursue interests) and go from there.

6. Schedule some down-time every day. Even when you have big kids and especially if you have introverted or sensitive kids.

Purchasing

7. Buy some new stuff. Because it’s the start of school and it’s fun. And you want to begin again. And you’re all full of beans.

8. Don’t buy too much new stuff. Don’t buy stuff for the whole year. Instead, take some money (I’m serious) and put it in two envelopes: label one November Slump, and pull it out the day after Halloween when you have a sugar hang-over and are questioning your sanity.

Label the second one February Hell, and pull it out around Valentine’s Day when the weather feels like it’s trying to kill you and your kids are climbing the walls and you just want to hide and eat those Dove chocolates without bothering to read the inspirational messages inside.

Set Yourself up for Success

9. Plan something fun. As more and more school buses start clogging up your neighborhood, hit the drive-through for donuts or have a backyard waterpark day?

Take a picture and put it somewhere you’ll see it all the time, and when your child is whining during math, or breaks a pencil out of frustration because writing one sentence is JUST SO HARD, look at that picture, and pack everyone up and go for ice cream and start over.

10. Make a plan to take care of you. Right now. Think about what makes you feel good. Do you love good books? Do you love at-home spa treatments? Do you love fancy coffee?

Write down 9 or 10 things that make you feel good and commit to doing at least one every month. Do not feel one bit guilty.

This is how you’re going to fill your bucket, so you can fill everyone else’s. It’s important. It’s vital. Please — do it for your kids, your husband and because you deserve it.

That’s it!

Happy homeschooling!

Kara

Affiliate links included. 

You should probably have a hot chocolate party ASAP

by Kara S. Anderson 4 Comments

I don’t mean to generalize, but there are basically two kinds of people in this world – those who need a reason to plan a party and those who do not.

But those are regular parties.

A hot chocolate party is a party for EVERYONE, and I suggest you have one any Tuesday, or even in spring or fall (but probably not summer unless it’s raining or your husband is away and won’t know you turned the AC down to 50).

If you really need an excuse to party cocoa-style, maybe grab this gentle winter unit study – you’ll also get our recipe for Snowy Day cookies!

So really, the best bet is just to plan a Cocoa-Fest for this week.

Your kids will flip, and you’ll create a warm memory, and frankly, what better way to ease back into school, right?

THE COCOA

You don’t need a lot of have a hot chocolate party, but the hot chocolate is important pretty vital.

You can go with Swiss Miss. No one is judging.

Watered-down Swiss Miss is all most of us had in the 80s and 90s, and we would race our siblings inside for that business – snow in our hair, mobility constricted by too tight snow pants, JC Penney catalog jackets and moon boots.

You can also go with a crockpot recipe. This is nice for larger groups, and it you don’t have a kettle. (We have this kettle though, and love it!)

You can also get really cute and creative and go with something like this hot chocolate on a stick.

And, if you have dairy-free people to consider, I really can recommend this mixed with dairy-free milk like almond milk.

THE BASICS

From there, you’re going to need some marshmallows and whipped cream, otherwise, why bother, right? 😉

Again, I understand when dietary restrictions come into play, but this isn’t the 80s anymore when I used to put orange juice on my cereal because I couldn’t tolerate milk.

They make all kinds of dairy-free whipped toppings, and they make marshmallows that don’t contain any of the 8 major allergens.

But OK, if for some reason those toppings are still off limits, no sweat – it’s just that first, we have to delve deeper into Marshmallow Land for a sec, then we’ll move on. Pinkie Swear.

CHURROS, YOU GUYS

For instance, did you know that they make marshmallows that taste like churros? Or cookie dough? Or ones that come pre-toasted (in case you decide to have s’mores party later).

You can also get peppermint marshmallows, shapes, or just throw some Peeps up in your melty chocolate hot tub.

I don’t want to sounds bossy, but at least two marshmallow offerings take this from a “we’re having hot chocolate,” to an actual PARTY.

MORE TOPPINGS

From there, let’s talk syrups.

I’m a caramel girl. Some people like hot fudge.

And then you have your “dry” toppings such as:

SIDES

You might also want some sides. We love these cookies.

Speaking of which, you’re going to need some food or else …

FOOD

Cookies are a great accompaniment to a hot chocolate party. Kids love dipping and hey – we’re going all in here.

BUT … maybe set out a few non-sweet snacks to balance things out. Protein is good. We put out some mixed nuts and some Trader Joe’s cheese crackers and some meat and cheese … but I’m not good at this stuff, maybe ask your healthnut friend of a member of the American Dental Association.

DRINKING VESSELS

If you’re having a smaller party, you can use festive mugs.

You can even use mugs with a larger party, BUT, it can be nice since if you have a lot of people to use cups you can mark names on.

This is also helpful if you are taking your party on the go – for instance, we often make giant batches of hot caramel cider at Halloween and take it out with us as we trick-or-treat.

DECOR

Finally, from a planner stand-point, festive decor is so much fun! We got some of these bowls, which we also used for a New Year’s Eve ice cream sundae bar.

I purchased these compostable spoons, but learned they are best for scooping out toppings – they are so compostable that they can fall apart *in* your hot cocoa, and no one wants that.

We kept table decorations simple, and made the toppings the stars of the show, but you could absolutely add a fun runner, some signs or cute reusable bowls.

We did use one of these for our marshmallows.

GET FESTIVE

Finally, a roaring fire, a good read-aloud, a family movie or a sledding party can make your hot chocolate party even more fun.

If it’s an unseasonably warm day, you can even have a snow picnic! (If you do, I highly recommend an insulated thermos.)

And again, I recommend hosting a hot chocolate bar as part of this gentle winter unit study, which is on sale now and a great way to transition back to school.

Wishing you a cozy winter, friends!

P.S. Want to add a little art (and lots more fun!) to your hot chocolate party? Pair is with a lesson from You Are An Artist Chalk Pastels. A Mittens & Cocoa lessons is in the Fall Video Chalk Art Lesson set.

Do you have a favorite hot chocolate topping? Let us know in the comments.

This post contains affiliate links.

 

 

The cactus method of homeschool planning

by Kara S. Anderson 8 Comments

I find that when you call something a “method” it sometimes accidentally gives it street cred.

So last week, when I started talking about The Cactus Method of homeschool planning on Instagram, mamas started asking me what book it was from and where I had gotten the idea.

So I’m going to tell you that it’s from me, and it’s from a book I am writing in my head, but not the book I am currently writing-writing. I plan to finish that book in a few weeks while staying in a monastery, but I’m getting off track.

Hold on loosely …

Anyway, the “cactus method” of homeschool planning is simply an idea I have that when you plan your week or day, you need to hold on to those plans loosely, like how you would hold a cactus. Originally I said a porcupine or cactus, but it quickly occurred to me how little control you would have if you were holding a porcupine.

The porcupine is really more in control in that specific scenario, and so it doesn’t work for the metaphor.

But a cactus – that’s all about you, baby. You can hold a cactus however you want, but I suggest you hold it gently.

Certainly don’t squeeze – my goodness.

So with that in mind, I go into my homeschool days with a plan, but not a schedule. And I guess I kind of figure after 12 years that things are going to come up, and plans might change, and there will be days when things just don’t really work at all, i.e. the kitten gets insane diarrhea on the FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL.

(This is how God/the Universe likes to keep me in my place – by reminding me that YES! I am in charge! But also, not really!)

How to use The Cactus Method

So every morning, I look at my planner.

 

And then I figure out what we can realistically do today, and then still think we can do more than we can.

But, I write a general plan on our desktop chalkboard.

This is saving a lot of sanity around here, because:

  • it forces me to plan the day, at least loosely
  • I don’t have to keep our plans in my head
  • everyone can see what we need to do
  • everyone isn’t asking me what we are doing every 8 minutes

Planning for your personality

Now, if all I had to do was follow the plan, I think that would probably be easy.

Easier.

But I am squishy and sensitive.

I’m an INFJ – and INFs take everyone’s feelings into account ALL THE TIME.

I’m also an Enneagram 9.

Our tagline should basically be, “I don’t know. What do YOU want to do?”

This used to mean that sometimes my kids would wake cranky, or out of sorts and I would start making up special breakfast plates and filibustering in order to get our day going.

But now I have a tween and a teen, and when teens and tweens get “out of sorts” that can be surly AFF (as fancy Frenchmen.)

So yikes.

My whole strategy for getting people to the table this year has been “delicious breakfast food.”

 

Because just like how they say the biggest thing with exercise is just putting on your gear, or the biggest thing with yoga is rolling out your mat, the biggest thing with surly wildebeest tweens and teens is just getting them to the table and putting some protein in their face-holes.

(Also maybe avoid eye contact.)

 

via GIPHY

 

You can see how all of this is a recipe for the cactus method, right?

Also, Margin

I’m also going to share one other tip, and that’s to CREATE MARGIN. Because kids have interests and passions, and if we make time for those things, everyone is happier.

So another key component of the cactus schooling method (#copyright #trademark) is asking your kids, “What do you want to do today?”

In order to be able to fulfill those requests/dreams, however, you can’t have your day packed full of things YOU want to do.

I’ve long believed this to be true, but recently I was talking to a friend who has graduated two kids, and those kids are now pursuing their passions via college and thriving, so even though I made up the cactus method (#allrightsreserved), I think there is something to it.

Planning loosely

Finally, you may be asking yourself how to keep track of things if you are “planning” so loosely.

I have a few recommendations:

  • First, you can download my free homeschool bullet journal planning guide here.

  • In your bullet journal, or planner, or any notebook, you can create a Big Picture Planning Page. (BPPP)
  • Then, each week, as you sit down to plan, you can mark out what you would like to do each day.

Remember – this is a general idea, and you are not tied to these things.

This is not a blood oath situation. Stop chanting.

  • Then, leave room for margin. Leave room for emergency kitten vet visits and leaky toilets and surly AFF kids and hobbies and interests.

(If you prefer a pre-made planner, these are my favorites.)

What’s important

Then, repeat after me: We don’t have control over what our kids learn or retain.

We do have control over the tone of our days, and how we treat our people, and those things are more important anyway.

So hold that plan like a cactus. Put it down entirely if you need to. (Some days you WILL need to.)

Thank you for coming to my Cactus Method TEDtalk.

#thecactusmethod #cactusschooling #stopchanting

Be sure to check out my talk on Cactus Schooling, now available here.

This post contains affiliate links.

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