Someone asked me recently if my kids ever just wake up cranky.
And I wanted to say, “Oh my good-golly-gosh-are-you-kidding-sister, YES.”
I wake up cranky. Sometimes all of us wake up cranky. Or tired. Or out of sorts for one reason or another.
It happened on our first day of school this year. Thank goodness for doughnuts, new notebooks and fresh pens. (Are there any things better than doughnuts, new notebooks and pens?)
Since our first day of school this year, there have been other hard morning too.
So what do I do when that happens?
In a word, I filibuster.
That’s right. I start reading, and I just keep going.
Because on those kinds of mornings, I have to tell you, it takes everything in me not to just let things slide; to say, “OK,” and go tackle the closet that has all the things falling out of it. Or curl up with a book and tea and forget to put real pants on at all.
If I don’t stay strong — if I don’t do SOMETHING — we’ll miss a day of school.
So when to filibuster?
Not when someone is actually sick.
Not even when a real issue needs to be addressed, like a crummy attitude or a big worry.
But I can usually tell as soon as I spot my kids if we simply need to have a Slow Morning.
Their long hair is matted against their cheeks.
Their feet seem to weigh 80 pounds each.
And then they’ll tell me, of course:
“I just don’t feel good, Moooooom.”
(The length of the “mom” is a good indicator of how slow we need to go.)
“Just don’t feel good,” is not serious. It usually means that their room was dry last night, and they need some tea. Or they slept poorly. Or they slept well, but only after reading a really good book past midnight.
Or maybe they aren’t super excited about sitting around the table with mom, “doing school.”
All of those things fall under the umbrella of “just don’t feel good” in our home.
{Soul Fever Days and Full Stop Days are different.}
But “just don’t feel good” calls for a careful prescription, which I’ve come to think of as Slow Mornings.
This is what we do:
I make a big breakfast.
I love breakfast. I am GOOD at breakfast. (Don’t worry, I’m terrible at lunch).
I make pancakes or crepes or waffles. Waffles cure a lot of things. I make biscuits or eggs, or I short-order cook — poached eggs and oatmeal with apples but no walnuts. I chop kiwi and peel mangoes.
I can breakfast the heck out of breakfast.
And then we chat.
And I ask a very important question: What DO you want to do today? Because usually the answer is not “go back to bed because I am so horribly ill.”
It’s something like go to the park, or see friends, or go to the library to get some new books or yesterday, start a new comic strip.
And I take that in, because that information is important.
And then, I grab a book.
Usually it’s our read-aloud or a book of poetry …
And that’s when the filibuster begins.
This is sort of an Ambush Morning Time in our House. {I’m not going to lie.}
But it’s been sort of magical.
During our Morning Time, I always let the kids draw, or play with play dough or perler beads or Legos or knit. They can do whatever they want with their hands.
And usually, because their tummies are full, and they are busy, once we get started I can just keep going.
{Starting is always the hardest part.}
I will gradually slide into Bedtime Math … We’ll do a science mystery.
And before you know it, we’ll have done at least 30 minutes of school. But often a lot more.
And then, we’ll take a break.
And we’ll talk about what they said they wanted to do. Sometimes we can make it happen.
My son wants to spend a quiet afternoon working on a new comic strip? Perfect! That’s handwriting, spelling, art, fine motor skill work and creative writing.
My daughter wants to curl up and watch documentaries about big cats and knit? I’d say that’s a good way for a kid considering a career as a veterinarian to spend a few hours, wouldn’t you?
“Let’s finish our work for today, and then we can do X-Y-or-Z,” I’ll say.
But wait. Sometimes, we “skip” school.
Sometimes, I find, cranky mornings are a plea for variety. What we really need to do is get the heck out of the house and do something interesting. We need to check out the bird exhibit at the conservatory, or hit the apple orchard. So, we pop in a good audiobook and we go.
Or my son will read to us while we drive. It’s a new thing and I love it.
Whatever we do, I try really hard not to turn it into a battle.
I don’t want my kids to remember battles.
And I try really hard to keep it intentional. To not let us fall into a trap of doing nothing at all, just because the getting going part seems so hard.
So YES. We all have cranky days. Mamas have cranky days.
Having a plan to turn them around helps a lot.
But so does just acknowledging the cranky, and remembering that tomorrow will probably be a better day, especially if we take it easy today.
P.S. You can find another post about holding plans loosely here.
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