Dear Kara,
I guess our school year is over. Honestly, it just kind of fizzled. I couldn’t find it in me to really celebrate or anything, but the kids are glad to be done with school, and it just seems like time to move on.
I’m worried, though. My kids missed classes. Our co-op just ended one week and never restarted, and this has been hard so that we didn’t finish our math curriculum.
So what do I do? Do I start where we left off in the fall? Do my kids begin in the grade they were in all last year and move on in October or November? Or should we just homeschool through summer?
– Love, M
Dear M,
You sound tired.
I don’t say that in a mean way.
Sometimes, when I don’t wear concealer, people tell me, “You look tired,” and I want to shout: BECAUSE I AM.
ALL MOMS ARE.
STOP COMMENTING ON MY LOOKS AND BRING ME A CASSEROLE SO I CAN TAKE A NAP.
So when I say you sound tired, I’m not judging. You deserve to be tired.
I think this year, especially, we all feel like instead of chugging to the finish line, we had to pull the broken train behind us like solo sled dogs.
We’ve arrived at the end of this race sweaty and exhausted, but that’s kind of normal for homeschool mamas.
Only this year – this year we also dragged fear and overwhelm and worry that we didn’t do enough with us as we crossed the finish line.
Everything continues to feel heavy and burdensome. Friends and I have been talking this week about how tiny things feel so hard. I placed an Amazon order last week and got two of the same book, the wrong size phone case and a screen protector for my watch that was so irksome I just gave up and shoved it and everything else into a box to worry about later.
Can I make a suggestion? I think that’s kind of what we need to do with this school year.
I think we need to put it in a box for a bit. Or maybe a closet. And then we need to step away.
You’ve probably learned A LOT
As I write this, we’ve been at home here (Illinois) for 77 days.
And during that time, we’ve all been forced to learn a lot.
We’ve given haircuts and made cleaning supplies and inventoried our pantry and tracked virus stats and baked bread and figured out how to do everything online, from therapy appointments to classes to bank deposits and shipping.
We’ve celebrated Easter and three family birthdays and Mother’s Day, and tried to navigate how to make those special in a pandemic.
We’ve bathed our groceries and sprayed door handles and maneuvered long-distance health care for a loved one, and tracked down obscure medical supplies and masks and made do.

Making do is a whole lesson unto itself, and led us in a direction of studying World War II and rationing. Meanwhile, I’ve been engrossed in World War II fiction myself because every book I read set in the Blitz reminds me of how strong we are as humans, and that we can deal with big scary things with humanity and kindness.
So honestly – I’m going to say it – I’m sick of learning.
Cash in your chips
Learning constantly is exhausting.
It’s so tiring that we bought a rice cooker, and my daughter figured it out and makes rice all the time now, and I still don’t know how to work it. It’s not complicated – you just add the right amount of rice and water and push a button, but this is the point I’m at.
I’m done. I’m cashing out. Please meet me at the buffet where I will be eating 7 different deserts.
So M – this is what I say to you:
Take a breath.
For a little while, stop the hustle.
Put everything school-related in a closet and tell yourself you’ll check back in a month or two when you feel like a person again.
If this feels scary – remind yourself – you are not the only one whose school year went drastically off the rails.
A few weeks ago, my husband and I were out walking and we ran into an acquaintance of my husband’s who is a high school teacher. My husband asked how things were going with distance learning:
“Half the kids don’t show up, and the other half can’t pay attention anyway. And because the governor recorded these as Act of God days, we can’t penalize them for not showing up or doing the work.
“But,” he said, pointing at his bike, “I’m finally getting in shape.”

A minute to just be
And there you have it, M.
As things start opening back up around the country, we have a lot to process. Families are grieving. People are still scared. There is a lot that’s still unknown.
In fact again, as I write this, this is what I know: William and Kate will not be sending their kids back to school!
But here’s what I don’t know: How England’s school year works.
And again, did I mention, I’M TIRED OF LEARNING NEW THINGS RIGHT NOW.
So breathe with me, M.
Take a minute to just be.
You can’t effectively plan for the future right now. You can’t change the past few months. If anything, this has shown us that trying to control everything is a little fruitless, right?
Hug your kids. Do what you can. Be good to each other.
That’s all I’ve got.
But maybe that’s all we need?
I. Love. You.
That’s pretty much my comment but I thought just that might seem weird. 😂 I needed this exactly. We limped to our 180 days this year. Not only was their a pandemic (like that wasn’t enough) our school went off the rails back in December when my son got encephalitis and basically life hasn’t been normal since. I’m exhausted, stress has me having migraines more than once a week, oh and my doctor’s office has closed down due to lack of funds because the pandemic has no one going for norm things. So yeah, we limped and I’m tired of learning. I feel guilty like we need to do this math over the summer, and they need to read, and they spent too much time on the Switch yesterday despite the fact a tropical storm literally formed off our cost and came in within like 24 hours… I think? I kind of skimmed the story about the storm actually but it’s why we had so much rain I guess. So thank you for this.
Oh my gosh! This question could have easily been written by me! So thankful that I happened upon it today. Yesterday, after weeks of school done poorly, school done halfway, and on and on I just out and out declared it “summer”. I have to say that declaration was incredibly anticlimactic seeing as we basically just limped to the finish line, but it feels good to say that we’re done for now.
I can’t say our school year limped to an end. We normally homeschool year-round over here. But, Daddy is home. Being an IT Director of a school, he has been working from home…in our living room…where we homeschool. Our small house has all of us in one spot. He helps, but we have found ourselves doing much less school and more family things. I am both totally ok and worried about that. Math is taking a back seat but our family is so close!! We are loving more time together. My husband gently reminds me that he may never have a year like this again, where he is able to have so much beloved time with them. So, math takes a back seat and we are spending our time together. And I’m ok with that. Next, year, I might panic. Lol
Sometimes it feels like you’re looking in my window, but you write just what I need to hear, so it’s all good. Thank you for this.
Big *exhale*. I loved your reply to this Kara. This past week, I was also taking stock of things. People always talk about the importance of “meeting your kids where they’re at”, and boy is this the perfect time to practice that tip!
And also? The first few chapters of every math book are review anyway. So it’s ok to close up your math book a few chapters early and start the next level in the fall…. because the publishers have it covered for you!
Thank you for always reminding us to put our people first xoxo
Great post. Thank you! I’ve been taking a deep dive into WW2 fiction for the same reason. Do you have any recommendations ?
Thank you for this.
Right now I’m reading The Secrets of a Charmed Life. So far, so good! 🙂