Kara S. Anderson

Homeschool connection, not perfection.

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Creating a basic daily checklist (FREE printable)

by Kara S. Anderson Leave a Comment

Last week, I was feeling overwhelmed.

This is nothing new.

I have been actively overwhelmed since April – probably you too, right?

But lately, I’ve been feeling particularly nervous. I have anxiety, and when it comes to fight/flight or freeze, I’m a popsicle.

Some days, just making a full daily plan is too much.

(Other times, it’s what saves me.)

Prioritizing self-care

My therapist has recommended focusing on self-care, but How? When?

So I decided to create a checklist.

The first version was like 62 things long.

I want to tell you – a daily checklist with too many things on it is pointless, especially when you’re anxious. We must practice some Essentialism here.

So I created a bare-bones, simple list.

And then I decided I’d share it, in case you feel overwhelmed right now too.

Something I want to point out – this list has stars on it. There’s a reason for that.

I want you to remember that you are already doing a lot. You’re already getting a lot right. If you got a star for each time you found the blue sippy cup, or smiled at your kids, or remembered to order something your family needs, you would be sparkling like the sun.

So please don’t put more pressure on yourself with this list.

But if you are going days at a time forgetting basics like drinking water and taking your vitamins, I hope this will help.

Here is my list for now:

Hanging On

A LOT of us are hanging on by a thread right now.

We are dealing with a pandemic, a contentious election, homeschooling and parenting. Many of us are caring for parents or other loved ones, dealing with mental health issues, trying to help kids navigate this huge feelings of this season, dealing with lay-offs, furloughs, job loss or cut-backs and otherwise just trying to do our best in one of the most stressful times in recent history.

My hope with this free printable is that it will give you structure and get things out of your head. But I don’t want it to add more pressure in any way, so if this isn’t for you – that’s OK. And, you get an extra star for knowing that!

Grab your free printable here.

Kara

This post contains affiliate links.

 

Never discount the importance of these days in the trenches

by Kara S. Anderson 15 Comments

At the end of my grandmother’s very long life, the early days of mothering were still very important to her.

I know this because she chose to include two items in her obituary: room mother, and cub scout den leader.

My grandmother lived for 94 full years. She went to college, she traveled, and after her husband died unexpectedly in the 70s, she managed a family on her own.

She started a business; she volunteered.

And when she helped to write her obituary, she included these items with equal value.

Never discount the importance of these days in the trenches.

***

I was talking with a friend recently about meeting new people, and awkward small talk – specifically how to explain to strangers what we do all day. And maybe even more challenging – why we do it.

Although homeschooling becomes more popular all the time, we are still early settlers – maybe not pioneers, but the next generation – the ones who know a little about the land and what we should plant, but we’re still building and developing community.

Before kids, I didn’t imagine myself as a homeschooler. But I did want to be a room mother.

And so when I unexpectedly got laid off at 9 months pregnant, I took it as a sign.

The larger my baby grew inside me, the more he squished my heart up into my throat, I think. It became hard for me not to shout that I didn’t want to go back to full-time work.

I loved my job, but I knew that my particular career choice was not going to be well-suited to balanced motherhood.

And I wanted to get to be a mom too, not just a newspaper lady with a kid in the background.

***

Have you been watching The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel?

Where are her kids?

I mean, I love it – I do. But was it like this in the late 50s? Kids neither seen nor heard?

Not for Grandma Lois.

Her children were a joy to her. My Aunt Chris told a story over Christmas about boy scouts dipping candles in their old kitchen, in their family home.

She remembers her mother this way. She also remembers living room tents and slumber parties with cousins and picnics …

Her boys remember taking off on bikes and their mom telling them to have fun and stay out of the creek.

She was there.

***

We are HERE with our kids. That’s what hard to explain, I guess, to people who don’t understand homeschooling.

It’s part about school, and part about just life.

It’s a little about math, and a lot about errands, really.

Can I tell you a secret, though? My son and I have the best talks while running errands.

***

I woke up this morning with two thoughts – the first was that I wanted to write about my grandmother, and what I noted in her obituary – that the early years of mothering mattered to her, continued to matter to her as she looked back over along life …

It sort of stuck out to me like a flashing beacon, and what it said is that this is not time wasted.

The second thought was that I have a Day in the Life post due soon to a site where I contribute, and I’m worried about it. Every year, I find it harder and harder to quantify what we do here.

My kids are 11 and 14, with birthdays in the next few weeks. They are their own people in many ways, and I am simply their support person.

They are doing their own thing a lot of the time, and so am I.

Is that OK? Is that enough?

***

I had a 3-year-old person visit recently.

I’m pretty sure I was in the second-best shape of my life when I had a 3-year-old (only after when I was an athlete training 4 hours per day).

In the time she was here, I was up and down a lot from my chair.

We pulled stuff off shelves and out of the fridge, and I started to remember what it had been like back in the very earliest days …

I’m not sure I could get through that kind of intensity again.

My husband had a really demanding boss, and we were still figuring a lot out. I can remember taking my own 3-year-old and infant to my annual gynecologist appointment, because I didn’t have a support system.

My 3-year-old narrated.

It was eye-opening for both of us.

For a long time, I was surviving.

***

Back then, I wondered frequently if I was doing the right thing. I was an exhausted and stressed mom, who was running on empty all the time.

I knew I wasn’t at my best, and so I wondered how I could possibly be giving my best.

Pre-school was a respite for me, and when it didn’t work, I wasn’t sure that I could manage homeschooling a precocious kid while caring for a baby.

I tried, and we sent him back to school after the first few months.

***

And then we tried again and it stuck.

But I still get scared sometimes.

Now I am a busy mom, who is trying to balance work and school and life.

What if this has all been a mistake? That’s what hits me at 3 in the morning.

That my kids still need to work on handwriting. That we are behind in math.

That I am failing them.

***

And so what Grandma Lois reminded me is that being here is important.

That’s not about homeschooling.

That’s just parenting.

Being here is about listening, and laughing together, and being counsel and silly what-if conversations on the way to the bank.

So even when we get scared about the homeschooling part, maybe we can find some comfort in the other part?

Maybe we can remember that at the end, that will matter.

“She has watched every moment of your life, almost, and she loves you as God does, to the marrow of your bones.” – Gilead

***

And so in our days with our kids, maybe we can shift our focus:

  • Maybe we can try to smile more.
  • Maybe we can do more projects, whether or not they are “school.”
  • Maybe we can watch TV and movies together.
  • Maybe we can go boring places, but talk on the way there.
  • Maybe we can have more picnics.
  • Maybe we can build more tent cities.
  •  

Maybe, we can just love our kids as they are. Grandma Lois had an incredible way of doing just that.

In fact, she taught me a lot about how to love people well.

So that is what I strive for each day here. To see my people. To love them. To be here.

These years in the trenches matter.

In fact, when we look back, they may feel like what mattered the most.

This post contains affiliate links.

 

Invisible balls (we’re all making trade-offs)

by Kara S. Anderson 3 Comments

The world is littered with invisible balls.

We don’t see them; we’re too busy trying to keep our own balls in the air anyway – you know all the balls:

  • parenting
  • homeschooling
  • marriage
  • food
  • home
  • pets
  • work
  • extended family
  • exercise
  • special occasion planning
  • appointments
  • bills
  • vehicles
  • and on and on …

Not all of us are juggling the same balls, but all of us are trying to keep multiple things going at any given moment.

Until, we drop one.

An invisible ball rolls away, like the meatball from “On Top of Spaghetti” – it careens off toward an adventure, while we stay where we are, trying to keep the other balls up, unable to give chase to the one that ran away.

Can you imagine if we could see all the balls?

Maybe it would help.

Because what we so often forget is that ALL of us – every one of us – is forced to make trade-offs all the time.

We either drop the balls or we put them down:

Maybe we work, so we trade-off growing a garden.

Maybe we need to exercise, so we trade-off laundry.

Maybe we’re caring for an aging parent, so we trade off home-cooked meals.

Sometimes, the trade-offs change by the month or week or day.

They have to.

I repeat: They HAVE TO.

But what I warn mamas about is that there are a few things that we don’t want to trade-off. Those things are sleep, sanity and relationships.

That’s what this week’s Instagram Live was all about, plus wonderful advice from a friend, plus why we need to stop comparing.

To hear about some of the things that Cait and I trade off on the regular, tune in to this week’s episode of The Homeschool Sisters Podcast.

This book is no longer free, but is available for purchase here.

And be sure to follow me on Instagram for more videos!

 

Homeschool Bullet Journaling 101

by Kara S. Anderson 1 Comment

It’s been a few years now since I started bullet journaling.

In the beginning, I wasn’t sure it would stick. I made some natural mistakes: First, my journal was too big; then, I bought markers that bled and drove me nuts.

But I’ve stayed with it, and found that it’s by far the most effective organizational system I have ever used. In fact, I joke that my bullet journal is basically my brain.

As a busy working, homeschooling mom, I put EVERYTHING in my journal.

I also write about it. A lot.

So I wanted to put all of those posts in one place in case you want to give this organization system a shot.

(Don’t forget to check out my resources page for tips on creating a bullet journal! Learn from my mistakes and see what really works for me!)

Homeschool Bullet Journaling Printable

I made this printable for the homeschool parents out there who want to use their bullet journal as a planner and for basic record keeping.

Download your FREE Homeschool Bullet Journal Guide to instantly feel more organized! Finally – you’ll have a way to keep track of projects, books, plans and all the things that make your homeschool run.

Grab your copy here:

How to make your bullet journal more than just a to-do list

I wrote this post after I had been using the bullet journal method for about a year, so it includes a “tour,” and some thoughts on what works well for me.

I also talk about some of the things I don’t do, ideas I’ve borrowed, and how bullet journaling helps me with my anxiety.

I can’t do anything without my brain: Why I started bullet journaling

This post takes you back to the very beginning, when I was young, naive, and bought WAY TOO MUCH washi tape.

Still, it lays out the basics, and will help you get started!

Using the bullet journal system for homeschool planning

I found bullet journal homeschool planning accidentally, actually. I was
keeping a bullet journal for all the other life stuff, and it just happened.

This post, which I wrote for Simple Homeschool, really explains my planning process – how I start with a big picture, and how that eventually translates into everyday sanity!

How to create a bullet journal homeschool mom planner

This one is another guest post – I wrote it for Pam from PamBarnhill.com.

It really gets into the nitty gritty of why this system excels when it comes to homeschooling planning for the … shall we say … “easily inspired” and “slightly disorganized?” 😉

My big picture planning page (and how I use my bullet journal for homeschool planning)

You know all those ideas you run across in the course of a day – that cool slime recipe you want to make with your kids? That math video you want to show them? Books you want to get next time you hit the library?

This post breaks down how to get those ideas out of your head and onto paper, so that you don’t forget them, and also so you aren’t carrying the constant stress of trying to remember them!

Bullet Journal Resources

And finally, don’t forget to hit the resource page to find how to create a bullet journal and what supplies work best!

From notebooks, to pens, to washi tape and even watercolor brushes, this page lists all the resources you need to keep your journal organized and beautiful!

Happy journaling!

 

 

This post includes affiliate links.
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Hey there!

I'm Kara, homeschool mom, writer, tea drinker, yoga-doer and girl with the overdue books. I spend very early mornings and very late nights writing about homeschooling and parenting. I'm so glad you're here!

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