Kara S. Anderson

Homeschool connection, not perfection.

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Snow picnic. (Much needed.)

by Kara S. Anderson 17 Comments

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Last week, when it was -15 degrees and we were throwing hot water out the window, it occurred to me just how long it had been since I’d been outside for more than a few minutes.

I never used to think things like that mattered much — you know, sunshine, nature, air …

One season blended into the next. It wasn’t until I had children — outdoor-loving, nature-adoring children — that I started to feel the seasons.

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“It feels like spring,” I say now, when the snow starts to melt, and the green starts to show.

“It feels like fall,” I say now, when the air gets crisp, and the leaves get crunchy.

But this winter. This winter has just sort of been Frozen Hell. Saturday I pulled out of our driveway and slid sideways into our neighbors’ front yard.

It’s a good way to meet new neighbors, I think. We literally had to break the ice.

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I had been trying to get out to go work, and shop for food for an elimination diet we’d been doing.

Forget it, I decided by dinner.

A winter like this is not the time to try to cut out two food groups. Maybe we’ll try again in the spring when we can binge on asparagus.

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By Sunday morning, with the thermometer reading 36 and with the possibility of cheese in sight, things seemed a lot better. I stepped outside to see our chickens:

“Gals, it’s going to end soon,” I told them.

(It’s their first winter. They have to be wondering who broke their yard.)

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And as I projected all over my chickens, I felt myself breathing again. The air was cold, but it felt good and pure. My shoulders left their temporary residence inside my ear holes.

And I hatched a plan.

It had started on Pinterest, as so many wonderful/terrible things do. It began with birthday planning.

(Often my sanity-saver during these cold months … if you hate winter, I suggest having babies then.)

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Why save all the fun for birthdays, I thought! The way this weather has been, their birthdays could be icy, rainy, snowy or something else that feels like Mother Nature is spitting at us.

We should celebrate now. As soon as possible.

The kids immediately agreed that a snow picnic was in order.

My daughter suggested we make Snowflake Cookies, and neither of us sure exactly what that meant, we settled on sugar cookies dusted with confectioner’s sugar.

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“Dusted.”

We made cocoa. We wore layers. We hit the road.

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We kept going when we hit icy patches. We were undeterred.

And what we found, was one hour of exactly what we needed. Or maybe exactly what I needed, but sometimes, exactly what Mom needs benefits everyone. It filters down through the husband, kids, dogs, cats, chickens and fish. It becomes the air, the very atmosphere.

Yesterday was a better day. Today was a little easier too.

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The key to enjoying winter is to embrace it, people say.

But that can be hard to do when it keeps trying to kill you.

So maybe the key to winter is the same as the key to all the other things: finding moments, and making the most of them — on a couch with a book or yarn; near a creek with cookies and cocoa; where you are now, if you can just remember to breathe.

The sun always comes out again.

Filed Under: Mama Self-Care, Our Days

Comments

  1. Sheila says

    January 15, 2014 at

    Agreed. When the kids were small I sometimes had to push everyone into their coats and outside in our winter weather (we have moments of gray rain, which isn’t quite so hard to live with but it has its moments) but if I felt better at the end of that walk it was way easier to continue sailing the ship. It took me a long time to realize that I need more outside time than anyone in my house.

  2. Sheila says

    January 15, 2014 at

    Agreed. When the kids were small I sometimes had to push everyone into their coats and outside in our winter weather (we have moments of gray rain, which isn’t quite so hard to live with but it has its moments) but if I felt better at the end of that walk it was way easier to continue sailing the ship. It took me a long time to realize that I need more outside time than anyone in my house.

  3. ksawrites says

    January 15, 2014 at

    “It was easier to continue sailing the ship …” LOVE that. 🙂

  4. ksawrites says

    January 15, 2014 at

    “It was easier to continue sailing the ship …” LOVE that. 🙂

  5. violicious says

    January 15, 2014 at

    I am THE WORST about getting outside, THE WORST and so for over three years we did a weekly outdoor program that forced me outside for the entire day. It really, really helped my mood and everyone elses here. We now have 2 hours a day mandatory outside time for the smalls…….but I am working on it! I love the ‘dusted’ cookies!

  6. violicious says

    January 15, 2014 at

    I am THE WORST about getting outside, THE WORST and so for over three years we did a weekly outdoor program that forced me outside for the entire day. It really, really helped my mood and everyone elses here. We now have 2 hours a day mandatory outside time for the smalls…….but I am working on it! I love the ‘dusted’ cookies!

  7. Kara says

    January 15, 2014 at

    Yes … a light dusting. A sprinkle really … 😉 I keep playing around with the idea of having an outdoor day this spring and summer where we maybe meet friends at a nature preserve or park … But then I just get caught up dreaming of spring!

  8. Kara says

    January 15, 2014 at

    Yes … a light dusting. A sprinkle really … 😉 I keep playing around with the idea of having an outdoor day this spring and summer where we maybe meet friends at a nature preserve or park … But then I just get caught up dreaming of spring!

  9. Mary says

    January 15, 2014 at

    I agree that sometimes what the kids need is what the mother needs. This has
    happened in our family many times….it just trickles down doesn’t it?

  10. Mary says

    January 15, 2014 at

    I agree that sometimes what the kids need is what the mother needs. This has
    happened in our family many times….it just trickles down doesn’t it?

  11. violicious says

    January 15, 2014 at

    we did a hiking club till i got too pregnant to navigate trails. it was low key and mainly to make me accountable for getting out there. and yes, the dreaming of spring!

  12. violicious says

    January 15, 2014 at

    we did a hiking club till i got too pregnant to navigate trails. it was low key and mainly to make me accountable for getting out there. and yes, the dreaming of spring!

  13. ksawrites says

    January 15, 2014 at

    Yes Mary! Absolutely!

  14. ksawrites says

    January 15, 2014 at

    Yes Mary! Absolutely!

  15. WelcomeTree Farm says

    January 15, 2014 at

    Great story. I love having to take care of outside animals because I have to get my butt outside everyday. I can feel pretty rotten and I get just a few steps outside and I take a deep breath and fell so much better.

  16. WelcomeTree Farm says

    January 15, 2014 at

    Great story. I love having to take care of outside animals because I have to get my butt outside everyday. I can feel pretty rotten and I get just a few steps outside and I take a deep breath and fell so much better.

Trackbacks

  1. Hyggeschooling: The Sisters Get Cozy {S3E5} | The Homeschool Sisters Podcast says:
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Hey there!

I’m Kara – writer, tea drinker, yoga-doer and girl with the overdue books.

 

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kara s anderson
It’s safer on the shore, right? The women stayi It’s safer on the shore, right?

The women staying in the house next to us saw me, camera in hand, safe in the sand …

“You’re the smart one,” a small, tanned mother of a 36-year-old daughter said.

Another chuckled and told us she regularly paddle boards across the bay with a wine glass balanced on the bow, salad on the stern …

The women were different from one another; friends for a long time, you could just tell, spending a month together at the beach, taking turns making simple, beautiful, rustic dinners, like pasta in a giant serving bowl and fresh artichokes.

🌊

“I think I want to try,” I told my friends, after some time waiting, watching … photographing the most gorgeous sunset.

Fear (anxiety) will make us well aware of all the risks, except maybe the risk of missing big, defining moments.
 
🌊 

I got back to shore and shook for 90 minutes. 

It was scary. 

It was so much.

🌊 packing
🌊making my bus
🌊checking my bag
🌊security
🌊flying
🌊going in the ocean
🌊feeling too far from the shore
🌊saying exactly what was in my heart

💙

It’s probably safer on the shore.

It’s probably safer at home. 

My body tells me that all the time, especially during the past two years - it’s pulled to what feels secure.💙

And yet. 

It’s different than with plants. 

We can’t grow if we stay rooted.

We can’t float if we don’t trust that we’ll be held once brave enough to take the first steps away from the shore.

🌊

“You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
though their melancholy
was terrible.
It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voice behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,”

-Mary Oliver

🌊

I don’t know if I could ever really explain to someone without anxiety how scary the past few days were, while also being some of the best of my life. 💙

I’m immensely grateful.
Sometimes you meet someone - not in person, but ac Sometimes you meet someone - not in person, but across the miles - and there’s just a connection.

I think it was Erin’s enthusiasm for reading Harry Potter with her kids and coming up with creative HP ⚡️ learning activities that made me realize she and I were meant to meet, even if it was only virtually.

Last week Erin, 42, wife and homeschool mom to two and a fellow animal lover was diagnosed with breast cancer.

Word spread quickly in the homeschool community. Erin - @erin_vincent35 - writes at Nourishing My Scholar, @chalkpastelart and Simple Homeschool.

She has been giving in the homeschool community for years - support, encouragement and tips for connecting with your kids through homeschooling.

We’re doing a GoFundMe for Erin. I’ll make it the link in my bio.

We want to help her raise money for treatment and to help her family through this.

If you’re inclined, you can donate, but you can also share her GoFundMe and that helps too.

Every little bit helps. 💜💜

Thank you, friends. 

We love you, Erin! 💜💜
Hi. I finally wrote a thing about transcripts fo Hi. 

I finally wrote a thing about transcripts for when you are unschooly.

This is just based on my experience with one kid, but I’m happy to try to answer any questions.

But two important things: first, our homeschooling here has been messy/successful - succmessful 💙

It’s worked for us. But it isn’t fancy, and so this transcript style isn’t either.

Second, for the love, remember - if you’ve been hanging out for me for any amount of time, the most important thing is our relationship with our kids.

So keep college in its place.

It’s not a contest. What you really want (I bet) is a place your kid will thrive without having to morph into some Bret Easton Ellis character, right?
 
Too far? 😉 

Post: karasanderson.com/transcripts/
Before. And after 🥰🥰 And a lil grid with h Before.

And after 🥰🥰

And a lil grid with headbands from our dear Jen - @thequirkydaisy 💜

(I ended up being able to donate 14 inches. Thank you for the advice about where to donate!)

P.S. Yes, @vanessanwright is also wearing our twin sweater today. 😂💟
OK. That was fun. Everything feels so different t OK. That was fun.

Everything feels so different than it did just 24 hours ago - in the best way. 🎓

I think we needed to do a thing. 🤷‍♀️ I think we needed a stop-point. 

Anyway, it was good, and I’m grateful and man, I love this kid. 💙🧡

P.S. Very glad I bought sparkly hats and a themed teddy bear.

I don’t know much about party planning, but these were wise investments, I think.
Hi. I’m totally fine, except tomorrow is my son Hi.

I’m totally fine, except tomorrow is my son’s graduation party and I’m not even close to fine, like … I find myself just sort of stuck here again, unable to do normal things like eat the salad I just made.

I was talking to my friend Jenn about this launching kids thing, and she said to be OK with both parts - to feel both parts.

The two parts are that yes, I am happy for my son and excited and this is true. This isn’t me trying to be happy. It’s real.

But also, I feel like I’m in a slow motion “emotional plane crash” - Jenn’s words.

She said I need to feel both, and *show* both - let both out - and that’s been the problem, I think.

I’m afraid to show the sad part. The scared part.

I’m afraid of those feelings being downplayed or dismissed by people who don’t get the complexity. 

I’m afraid of those things overshadowing the joy.

But then Jenn, without me saying any of that, saw it and got it and I realized maybe it would help to share all this, because maybe another mom will read this and feel seen and understood and know that she’s not alone in the beautiful, heartbreaking both of it all 🤍
I wanted to introduce you to my new pal, this Morn I wanted to introduce you to my new pal, this Morning Sidekick Journal.

A while back, I was talking to someone about needing a schedule, and she said, I think what you really need is to set your priorities each day 🤯

So I bought this journal I’ve been eyeing for a while that helps you create a consistent morning routine.

Then, the last step of my morning routine is to plan out my day in my bullet journal, and star the 3 most important things.

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I highly, highly recommend this system, especially if like me, you like/ need accountability + have a hard time creating realistic routines and making them stick. 🌟

I’ll put a link in my bio for you! 

P.S. my erasable Frixion Color Stick pens pair perfectly with this. 🌟
I don’t really have anything to say except my fr I don’t really have anything to say except my friend Kym sent me these amazing Wonder Woman cuffs and I’m not taking them off.

I shall sleep in them.

They are so cool that my teens like them.

Also, some people see us.

Today we went to drop off a gift to one of my son’s college professor because she is special. She *gets* him. 

And fun fact: I was in one of her first classes when she started teaching.

Back then, she admits she tried to be tough, but it didn’t work. Caring was better.

Caring is better.

Let the people who care in and love them like crazy. 💙

Signed, 
My 5-year-old self who is still part of me and having the best day of her life.
Hey-o! It’s my birthday, and I always like to c Hey-o!

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OK. Love you. Bye!
Such a sweet birthday 💗🧁 I’ll put a link Such a sweet birthday 💗🧁

I’ll put a link in my bio to the Frixion pens. The cute animal ones are from Target! 

P.S. Site-wide sale starts 5/9 at karasanderson.com

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